Poot & Boogie

it's 8 o'clock (am) somewhere

2012-01-26T04:12:00.001-08:00

The clock on my nightstand currently read 3:19 am. There is no way I am going to be falling asleep, I have been up most of the night already. The current situation in my room is this:

Poppy has taken over my place in the bed lying sideways with the balls of her feet in Marks back. Mark is teetering on the edge of his side. My head is at the foot of the bed in the dogs normal place with my legs acting as guard rails to keep Poppy from taking a header off the edge.

Marks sleep apnea mask is crooked on his face and is making a louder than normal whirring noise and Ola and Auntie Bev are snoring through the baby monitor from the girls room. Poppy's breathing has quieted significantly in the last hour, but it has turned into a snore-hiss-whimper, with the occasional request for help.

Oh, and the dog? She's tucked in nice and cozy under the blankets snoring.

As cockeyed as this whole arrangment may seem it seemed like the only feesable way to make tonight work. Poppy is sick with a double ear infection and a cough and fever that have her teetering on the edge of pneumonia. Because her and Ola share a room in our tiny house a single bark of her cough sends Ola into a panic that then wakes her as well. Poppy can't sleep on the couch on her own, so that leaves my bed. Auntie Bev is here to help me for 2 more days while I recover from my septum surgery that I had last week. I am unable to pick up Ola or bend over her crib. Because she is more useful to Ola right now in the middle of the night she is posted in the girls room with her. Poor Mark he really doesn't have much say in the whole situation, if he can't sleep in our bed he has the couch. Don't feel too bad for him, it's pretty comfy and I left him the fluffy pink princess blanket.

In my efforts to keep everyone sleeping I have sabotaged my own, but that's ok... I can't sleep anyways. The pressure behind and in my nose is frustratingly annoying, and when my kids are sick I feel like I am on high alert.

Hey wait a minute....

I'm not the only one awake. The roosters are up too.

hot pants and ankle boots

2012-01-24T17:23:00.003-08:00

In the late summer while Ola was having a visit from her physiotherapist a conversation came up about therapeutic "hot pants" and that they might be beneficial to help Ola control her hips and prevent her from splaying ler legs outwards. Her butt-scoot was not applauded either and this would help discourage it. We left the subject alone for the rest of the visit, but everytime Ola was almost doing the splits the little pants kept creeping into my mind.

I like to consider myself pro-active when it comes to Ola's therapy, I like to be one step ahead. I asked Physio to bring a pair to Ola's next visit. We put them on her and she was not a happy camper. She was miserable, her little legs unable to split, and her trademark butt scoot was was hobbled.

I couldn't stand to see her unhappy, I took the pants off 5 minutes after her therapist left and I put them in her sock drawer.

As the months wore on, I tried Ola in the pants a few more times before quickly giving into her whimpers of annoyance. I gave up... No more pants.

By late November with her scoot still in full swing I noticed it was becoming quicker and she was using so much force with every heel pull that she was just about pulling straight through into the splits into a face plant.

I pulled out the pants, and she whined... but only for a few minutes.

Ola has 3 pairs of "hot pants" now, and wears them everyday. She doesn't mind them, and they are doing a world of good for her leg strength.

We are still trying to get her up on her feet and off her toosh so Ola is now also wearing plastic ankle braces in her little booties everyday.

Ola sporting the original red "hot pants" the ankle braces are there too, they are just hiding under her Robeez so she can't rip off the velcro.

Wait... what did you think this post was going to be about?

Oh! get your mind out of the gutter!

Linking up again with Yeah Write!

any time is a good time for advocacy

2012-01-16T14:34:00.000-08:00

On October 28th 2011 Ola went to our local hospital to have tubes put in her ears, it wasn't a really big deal, I was a little but nervous, handing her over to the doctors was a little bit upsetting, but watching her struggle to succumb to the anaesthetic was the worst.

I walked back to her room, impressed with myself that I didn't cry, and pretty much as soon as Mark snapped this lovely oh so flattering photo the nurse was back to take me to recovery to be with her.

When I was sitting in recovery with Ola I was busy chatting with a really friendly nurse about Ds. I can't remember how the conversation started but she asked me why Ola didn't have any teeth yet. When I started to explain to her that children with Ds usually get their teeth anywhere between 18-24 months and in random order she was really surprised, she had no idea. It kind of surprised me in the moment that a nurse wouldn't have any idea about this, but then she can't possibly know everything about every syndrome can she? She just needs the basic information about the patient she is dealing with, not all the fine details.

It took a about an hour in recovery for Ola to stop crying, and then we hitched a ride with a porter back to her room where she cuddled with Daddy.

I told Mark about our conversation, and as Ola sat with him still groggy and cranky from her surgery we talked about how any time is a good time to be a Ds advocate. There are so many opportunities in a day to spread awareness, you just need to get the conversation started.

I decided then and there how I was going to celebrate National Down syndrome Awareness week in Canada.

On November 7th the last day of Ds Awareness week I got a tattoo.

It has taken me a long time to write this post because this tattoo means so much to me. I have a few other tattoos that all have special meanings to me to, but this one... this one is different.

When I was deciding on how I could promote Ds awareness through a tattoo I decided that I would get a modified version of the Canadian Down Syndrome Societies logo. I am Canadian, and Ds was the purpose so it was a perfect fit.

I didn't want a carbon copy of the logo and gave my tattoo artist some ideas to work with like the heart, but I wanted the basic message still there.

It was a easy decision for me to get it placed in an obvious easily seen spot, the whole idea is for people to see it, ask about it, and then I can talk about it. I love talking about my beautiful Ola and her fabulous friends!

The other day (when the snow wasn't dumping!) I had the sleeves of my sweater rolled up in the grocery store and the cashier commented on my tattoo. Perfect, the conversation started and she learned that Ola:

a) had Ds (she said she had no idea)
b) that she was 20 months old (and still so little)
c) that she isn't walking yet, because of loose stretchy tendons, but that she's a bum scooter (bum scooter info courtesy of big sister Poppy)
d) that the symbol of my tattoo is for the Canadian Down Syndrome Society.

Mission accomplished I say.

There are abundant opportunities to get the awareness and advocate conversation started, you just have to start them.

I could talk about Ola all day long!

* I understand that not every parent wants to get a tattoo on their arm for Ds, and that's cool. But, if you do please don't steal my tattoo design. Talk to a good artist and have something made that means something special to you. Thanks.

2 for 2 from Kelle Hampton and Enjoying the Small Things

2012-01-10T17:38:00.000-08:00

If you have a child with Down syndrome chances are you know who Kelle Hampton is and have read her blog Enjoying The Small Things.

Last year Kelle set out to raise $15,000 for the National Down Syndrome Society in the US. With help from her readers Kelle and her sweet daughter Nella surpassed $100,000!

This year for Nella's second birthday they are hoping to make that $100,000 into $200,000 and really I have no doubt that her readers will accomplish it!

Please if you have a few dollars that you would be willing to donate go to Nella's 2 for 2 page and you can donate there. Even though we don't benefit directly from the NDSS in the US, all the work they do is for the greater good of all children and people that have Down syndrome.

The readership and followers that Kelle has boggles my mind, but I am so glad that she is spreading the word on Ds, and making more and more families and people aware of how great our children are!

A Simple Family Silhouette Tutorial

2012-01-10T08:57:00.000-08:00

I was lucky enough to be able to share a tutorial over at DELISH today!

Please go check it out, and while you are there check out their Winter 2011 issue... You know what? Just grab a cup of coffee and take a look at the archived ones too!

handmade christmas

2012-01-02T15:37:00.000-08:00

It is always my goal heading into the holiday season that I am going to make as many handmade gifts as I can, but as always time gets away from me, and I am scrambling to pick the most important ones to finish. I had been day dreaming and building the pattern in my head for this fox for Ola for about 2 weeks, but still hadn't made my way to the fabric store. Mark and I ended up in Washington for his work on the 21st of December and realized as we were driving that we were in Lynnwood. Lynnwood my friends has the closest location of Hobby Lobby! When I was trying to source the materials for my winter scenes I continually came across Hobby Lobby as a store for supplies I was searching on Google. Not planning on going to Washington any time before Christmas I had given up on getting there, until suddenly we were there!

I promised Mark that I would be 15 minutes...

63 minutes later Poppy and I emerged. It was the best craft store I have ever been in. I was surrounded by all of the supplies I had dreamed of. I was like a kid in a candy store, I was running around frantically afraid I would miss something. Fabric! Yarn! Glass! oh my!

And the best part is... they are coming to Bellingham. So my crafty friends make sure in the spring you look for them on your next run down for cheese.

Like a sign from above they had a bolt of this fantastic fleece for 30% off and I thought it would be perfect for Ola's fox.

I stayed up until the wee hours of the 23rd to get it finished and just had a chance to take a photo now.

Most importantly Ola loves it, and that is why a handmade Christmas is the best!

oh 2011...

2011-12-31T23:04:00.000-08:00

Last year I wrote this post on getting ready to celebrate the beginning of 2011. I just read over it and remembered that I had a bucket list. I said that it had 14 items on it, I am not sure why... it only has 10.

Let's look at it shall we?

1.~~Get Ola crawling by Christmas.~~ Well she isn't crawling, but she is a butt scooting machine. I count that as done! The main goal was to get her mobile and we definitely did that!
2. ~~Teach Poppy the Alphabet.~~ With the exception of missing M and N occasionally she has it! Done!
3. Lose 40 lbs by Jan 1st 2012. Ha! I wish!
4. Go to an auction (not a tool one.) Umm nope, just the livestock one and I am not counting that either.
5. ~~Learn to ice skate.~~ (When I wrote this we had ice skated twice in the weeks leading up to new years and I think that I was going to become the next Nancy Kerrigan or something. I didn't do this, but I did do THIS and it involves skates... I am taking another one! Done!
6. Learn how to use my camera properly. Nope. Still haven't mastered that one yet.
7. Complete 500 miles in 2011. Nope. This was related to the weight loss.
8. Get the dolls selling in at least 3 stores. Nope. I got the dolls in two stores, and then with the sales being poor I backed out.
9. Smile more. Gawd I hope I did this
10. Stop worrying about the wool in my eyes. I am not sure what I was talking about?! hmmm wool in my eyes? Maybe it had a deeper meaning a year ago, I have no idea. I don't remember specifically having a problem with wool in my eyes :)

This year I am not making any resolutions... but there are things that I would like to do.

Here are some of them sprinkled in with some of my favourite photos, and moments that I am thankful for from 2011.

1. be strong enough not to cry when I am going in for my surgery in the new year
2. tell my girls and Mark that I love them everyday and take a moment to give them a good hug
3. blog more :)

Getting Ola in a great highchair that helped her learn how to eat on her own

4. teach Poppy how to ride a bike
5. teach Ola how to hold a bottle
6. teach myself how to not over cook a soft boiled egg

getting out with the wildlife

7. make time to be crafty
8. master crocheting enough to actually finish an afghan
9. sew a zipper into something

finally getting Instagram on my phone whilst getting my hair done

10. stop biting my nails so I can paint them pretty colors
11. get my makeup done
12. get my hair dyed red

Ola watching and soaking up every little thing

13. do more baking with Poppy
14. maybe let Ola help...
15. make eggs benedict once

Part of the birthday invitation for Ola's first birthday

16. learn how to smile as big as Ola
17. take more photos

Poppy slipped and fell in the muck in the chicken coop declaring that "you arn't a girl farmer until you've slipped and fallen in a chicken coop!"

18. set new goals for Ola this year
19. set some for Poppy too
20. get away for a weekend with Mark

Ola on her first birthday sitting up all by herself!

21. run a 5km (run)
22. keep on doing bootcamp
23. remember what September felt like

sitting at a pre-school concert admiring the ground

24. try meditating for a month if it doesn't work out that's ok
25. do a spin class
26. get another tattoo

5 generations of ladies!

27. meet a new friend
28. keep making time for old ones
29. visit my grandmothers more

fun at sports day

30. encourage Poppy to be brave
31. encourage myself to be brave
32. remember to take deep breaths

adopting this little stinker

33. hug a cat, even when you want to strangle him for knocking over your jewellery box
34. go to a quiet beach where we can find sand dollars
35. visit the island

beach date with just Poppy

36. make a big sandcastle
37. sell some more chicks

having my chickens unknowingly hatch out turkey eggs!

38. make more yummy cakes, but give them away
39. make more yummy cookies and give those away too

always making a homemade birthday cake!

40. make a few donations
41. teach the girls about making donations

having fun at our local thrift store

42. continue learning sign language with the girls and make a bigger effort to use the ones we know
43. make Ola a quiet book
44. do a tutorial on a quiet book

self discovery

45. sweat more
46. get on a bike
47. get anew pair of sunglasses!

finally being strong enough to make myself feel better

48. come up with some new craft ideas
49. re-invent my craft persona

taking part in the fieldstone vintage market

50. get my pink back

dying my hair super power pink!

51. give Poppy more credit as a great big sister, trust her more with Ola
52. sit back and watch more

the girls sharing their first cart ride together!

53. take more deep breaths (did I already say that!)
54. go for a walk on the dykes

having our family photographed for the Tiny Light Foundation

sharing a car ride with the happiest kid on the planet! imagine turning around to see this every time you are driving!

55. go to a big concert
56. go to a little concert

being with Ola for her ear tube surgery, and thankful that she is healthy

57. teach Ola to say MaMa
58. celebrate more birthdays

celebrating birthdays

59. make the girls costumes again
60. make myself a costume

realizing that I have an octopus as a daughter!

61. let Poppy draw on my face with makeup sticks just because she loves it so much

family night for Halloween!

62. teach Poppy how to embroider

getting a new tattoo that means a lot to me (more on that in the new year)

63. go to an auction and buy something that I want but don't need

had an awesome year!

64. have a fantastic year, and make sure I take the time to enjoy every moment I can!

*EDIT* January 1st I thought of a few more

65. eat from a food truck specifically the Tacofino one!
66. run that annoying 1.5 km warm up in less than 9 minutes!

a merry christmas craft tutorial!

2011-12-21T18:20:00.000-08:00

I have wanted to do a tutorial for so long! at last I have found a simple yet effective christmas craft that I want to share. It is super simple and if you want to make a few they are reasonably cheap! (bonus!)

I introduce you to the Winter Scene Jars!

The cast of Characters!
You will need:
Jars with lids (i bought some mason jars at the thrift store for 30 cents, and used a jam jar)
Pretty paper to cover lids
Scissors to cut pretty paper
Buffalo Snow snowflakes from Michaels
Cute trees (from Michaels they were 50% off!)
Little figurines like deer, mushrooms, cars, snowmen
Glue gun!

step one: pick what you want in your jar.

make sure you jar is clean and dry and your glue gun is hot!
step 2: apply glue to bottom of first item and stick it in the jar

step 3: continue to apply hot glue to the bottom of items and continue sticking in jar.
(I had to bust out the tongs for the little deer, the jar opening was too narrow and I couldn't get my hand in)

step 4: admire your craftiness, and make sure you don't want to glue in anything else.

step 5: add snow. If you add too much, just dump some out.

step 6: pick some pretty paper, trace out your jar lid and cut.

step 7: twist the lid on, shake down your snow and put somewhere like a window sill to admire!

I seriously love these winter scenes. I went crazy and made a ton of them, you can see from the pictures that I did a bunch of different things, but basically I used the steps above. These are so simple to make, it literally takes 5 minutes.

Some of my favorites...

I found a tutorial on using these little bristle trees and someone said that you can bleach them! Yup you can! It looks a little dingy white, but with a little dye can you imagine!? the little polar bear was from the small toy section in Michaels.

I bought some toy cars from the thrift store for .25 cents each, pulled the base off the tree and made a felt trunk, a little hot glue action and you got a tree on a car!

I love tractors, and found this little John Deere with the toy cars at the thrift store. I am keeping this one for myself because it is so cute and I am afraid that i won't be able to find another little tractor.

ok, so I really loved the cars....

I really don't like it when bloggers won't tell you where they found their supplies. So here you go. I tried to remember what I paid, don't quote me on the prices but know that I am thrifty and I wouldn't tell you lies.

Mason Jars: Local thrift store (not Value Village) .30 cents each with lids.
Buffalo Snow: Michaels $2.99 with a 50% off coupon! one bag did all 11 jars, plus I still have some left.
Deer, Mushrooms, Silver trees: .60 each, .20 each and .30 each respectively, from Scoop and Save which is a cake decorating store. I bought 6 of each.
Bristle Trees- Michaels it was a pack of 22 trees and with 50% off the Christmas items I paid $16. This works out to .73 cents a tree!
Paper- I had in my stash
Toy cars- local thrift store .25cents each I bought 5

Depending on what you put in your jars, you can do this for under $4 a jar! Fantastic I say!

I will be keeping my eyes open all year long for knick knacks to put in winter scenes for next year. I will be keeping my eyes open for little gnomes, foxes, wolves, and tractors! I will also be looking for Mason type jars through the year too, I much prefer them to up-cycled jam and pickle jars.

This project came from a mish-mash of ideas that I was wanting to do. I originally had seen snow globe jars on Pinterest for putting gift cards in. I wanted to make those for the gift cards I am giving at Christmas but was nervous about putting expensive gift cards in water. Then I thought I would just make snow globes, but I heard that the green bristle trees I wanted to use lose their color in water so that wouldn't work either. (They do by the way, I tried before bleaching out the white one.) Still wanting to make a snow globe type thing I made these!

I am daydreaming about next winter already!

Happy Crafting!

short and sweet

2011-11-23T23:10:00.000-08:00

I read something a couple of weeks ago about keeping a blog and it pretty much said that if you don't have anything meaningful to share, don't. Everyone hates reading the numerous wall posts on facebook all day from the same person sharing every moment of the day. Same with blogging. They said keep it short, and add photos if you can. Sprinkled in with all the good things that have happened since my last post there has been a few bad and trying moments too, and although I agree with most of the blog keeping advice I don't think that I can keep it short all the time.

But I can tonight.

Ola the Rainbow Octopus! Her costume was so easy! I used 4 pairs of Poppy's old tights, but them, stuffed, and sewed them to the underside of a skort. She wore a long sleeved onesie and I sewed the felt eyes to an old toque. This was especially cute when she bum scooted!

Poppy the rag doll. I found this dress (bib and all) at Value Village and purchased a child sized rag doll wig there as well. She chose tights from her collection and decided on the shoes.

All of us on our way out the door. I know the cowboy is un-original, but hey at least I did something.

This was Ola's first time out trick or treating... Don't let the smile fool you. This lasted all but 5 minutes.

Don't forget you can always pop over to the other blog, I write other stuff there.

Go! Leanna Go!

where did the time go?

2011-09-27T10:21:00.000-07:00

Well it seems like I have a little bit of catching up to do.

September has been an incredibly busy month, lets do a quick little re-cap!

Poppy turned 4! yes, 4 that is so crazy to me, it seems just like yesterday that she was born. She decided on her birthday unbeknownst to me that it was time to be a diva. She is full of beans right now, and she is saying the funniest, most random things. "you know Mom... sometimes you just need to look at the bright side." Yeah, the bright side :)

Ola is amazing! Her new nickname is scooter, this kid is scooting everywhere! I can't keep up. I actually had to bust out the playpen just to keep her safe while I run to the bathroom. Her main targets of desire are of course the kitty litter and the dog food.
She also had a visit with her ENT who let me know that while she still officially is on the wait list for tubes, she has no fluid in either of her ears at all! Such good news, but we are hanging out on the wait list for another couple of months just in case the fluid comes back for cold and flu season!
She also had a visit with her eye specialist after I jumped the gun and bumped her appointment in fear that she was having difficulty seeing. I was pleasantly surprised when I was told that her sight has actually improved and she doesn't need to be seen again for 6 months!

Poppy started her second and final year of preschool. I am already panicking about kindergarten next year and have a few calls into different agencies waiting on info about schools in two districts that will be good fits for both girls. I want Poppy to start at a school that will welcome Ola with open arms and resources as well. If that means having to take her out of our catchment I will.

There were two big events in September that our family was preparing for. One was the DS awareness walk (formerly, but always in our family the buddy walk) and the Fieldstone Vintage market. We fundraised just over $1000 for the walk (BIG thanks out to everyone who donated!) and I sewed like a maniac to get ready for the market.

I only got two semi-crappy shots of my table with my camera phone. There were so many vendors running around taking photos but I didn't even think of that!

Lily and Rachel of Birch and Bird did such an amazing job and the Bakerview Eco-dairy was an amazing venue.

The sale was good for me, but after all of the hard work and time I spent getting ready for the sale I decided that I am taking a break from the dolls and Poot & Boogie for a while. I am packing up the pattern and switching gears. I have been making Poot & boogie dolls for almost 4 years, and I think I need a change. I am not sure what the change will be, but I am taking some time off to focus on some other things and get re-inspired.

One of the things that I am focusing on is... myself.

Those of you that are friends with me on facebook already know abut the new blog that I started called Go! Leanna Go! At the end of August I had finally had enough of feeling tired and cranky and un-healthy and I decided to do something about it. Jump over there to read the whole story and to follow me on my new healthy journey. I still fully intend to come to this space and write about family and life as I am keeping the Go! Leanna Go! blog more about me.

So there in a nutshell was September. It was fast, it was furious and now I am ready for October.

happy Birthday to my Poppy

2011-09-03T22:47:00.000-07:00

Poppy,

I cannot believe that 4 years has gone by so quickly. I told you the other day how excited everyone was to meet you, and how your Nana and Grandpa and Uncle Brad and Auntie Sarah raced home from their holidays to be there when you arrived. I told you that you are beautiful and that I love you, and that you will always be my best big girl.

At 4 you are smart, quick witted and funny. You laugh at the funniest things like when your sister blows raspberries at you.

You are helpful (sometimes too much) and loving (sometimes too much) and emotional (sometimes too much) but I would trade you for the world.

Happy birthday baby girl, mama loves you.

the word i hate

2011-08-19T10:22:00.000-07:00

As some of you may or may not know there is a uproar right now in the special needs community. In the Down syndrome community to be exact.

As some of you may or may not know there is a new movie out with Justin Bateman and Ryan Reynolds called The Change Up.

As some of you may or may not know this movie has brought the word "retarded" and the word "downsy" into the spotlight.... again...

Ugh...

I couldn't decide if I wanted to write about his or not. I think as Ola's parent I should. I think some people think that I have to. I don't have to and truthfully I didn't really want to. I have written a little bit before about how I feel about the word retarded. I can't find it right now, but I know I did. It's a hard subject and it evokes a lot of negative feelings and reactions in a lot of people.

I don't like it.

I don't like it, and I am embarrassed that it used to be a "go to" word in my highschool vocabulary. I said it numerous times a day. It went something like this.

"Oh my gawd that is so re-tart-ted!"

"Oh my gawd he is so re-tart-ted!"

Looking back on it, I am embarrassed. Embarrassed that I said it that much and that I have an aunt with special needs that it probably hurt.

What makes me even more embarrassed is that I said it a few weeks ago. I did. It was bad, and I think I actually slapped my hand across my mouth. I looked at Poppy she didn't notice. I looked at Ola and she smiled at me.

You might be wondering where this is going. I'll tell you.

Initially when I saw this outrage playing out in front of me on facebook and in blogs I just shook my head and agreed with most of what people were saying. It is ignorant, it is upsetting, it is awful. I got a little fired up and posted a comment on The Change Up's facebook page under one of their posts because the were not enabling comments on their wall. I tried not to be too dramatic. No one likes a drama queen! I just stated that I would not be seeing the movie because how would I explain to my daughter that I was laughing at a movie that was laughing at her. No biggie, I won't see the movie. I probably wouldn't have anyways.

I started thinking about it more over the last couple of days (I am a little behind on my ranting.) How do parents like me deal with things like this? Do I freak out too? Do I write a nasty email to the production company?

No I don't. I will tell you why.

Sometimes Mark comes up with these little gems of knowledge. I hate it when he is right, but sometimes he is and I can't help but feel the same way.

taken from Pinterest

He pretty much told me this the first time I asked him about he felt about the word retarded. The subject came up because the first time I heard someone close to me say the word I think I actually physically cringed. I figured no one in their right mind would ever dare say the word in front of me after Ola was born, but they did. A few people did actually. A few times. In my mind I have justified the fact that they have used this word without thinking, and without any hurt towards Ola in their mind. I honestly don't think that anyone around Ola thinks of her as being different and they wouldn't say it purposely to hurt us.

It has been 16 months and honestly the word still stings, but I know that I cannot say anything that will take this word out of people's vocabulary if it still came up in my own.

I cannot smack every dimwitted idiot on the planet that uses the word in a derogatory manner up the side of the head, I don't have that much free time :)

And... the worst part abut this whole thing is. How can I expect the idiots in the world to stop using the word retarded if the medical professionals that care for Ola are using it themselves to describe her?

“They” say that it isn’t easy to change terms in the medical field however in response to this I say “really? that’s funny because not so long ago people with Down syndrome would have been called mongoloid. Where did that word go?” Thank god it’s gone, I think that one is worse than retarded. The other thing, the people that are using the word retarded as an everyday word aren't talking about Ola directly, but you know who is? The doctor that has to fill out a form saying that Ola is retarded specifically. It's a little ass backwards if you ask me. So if the medical profession won't change for our children how can we expect the general public to?

When I spoke to my Mom on the subject before writing this, she agreed that you can’t do anything really except voice how you feel about the word, and then reminded me that I have the best ammunition behind me. A three year old that speaks her mind and will tell you exactly whats up.

So you better watch out retarded word users, she’s coming for you, and quite honestly I think that coming form her it will pack a little more punch!

KaPOW!

watch out! she's comin' for ya!

* a few notes
1. I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago and than sat on it deciding if I really wanted to publish it.
2. Please don't hate on me for saying the word, it wasn't in a malicious way, and it was by accident.
3. This is just my humble opinion.
4. I hope that using retarded over and over doesn't offend, I just don't see the point in saying the "r word"
5. I have no idea why this post isn't in the right font!

2011-08-18T09:41:00.000-07:00

Last night I had one of those mommy moments that is so great it makes you heart beat fast and your eyes get glossy. One of those moments where you have no idea how you could be more proud of your child.

We made a date with family to go to the annual Pirate Pack day at White Spot. For those of you that don't know, a pirate pack is a kids meal that comes served in a paper pirate ship. It comes with a burger/fish and chips/mac and cheese a gold chocolate coin, a drink and icecream. I remember eating them when I was a kid and adults seem to get nostalgic for them. The had an adult pirate pack day yesterday to raise money for Zajac Ranch. Zajac Ranch gives children with serious and chronic illnesses as well as disabilities a chance to go to summer camp. It is really fantastic and I thought the cause deserved some of our money. Plus I wanted a pirate pack :)

The girls and I got there early, and shortly after Mark and Sarah got there. While we were waiting for everyone else to arrive I decided that I would give Ola some cereal bites. This is nothing new. I usually use them as a distraction until we actually eat. She ate a few, then it happened...

She gracefully brought her hands up in front of her, made points with her fingertips and tapped them together.

"more"

She signed "more"!

I cheered and gave her more cereal bites, waited and she did it again!

I hugged her and we all clapped and I cried.

Crying seems so silly, but I couldn't help it. Knowing that she is understanding and comprehending what is happening is such a huge deal. It helps me to remember why we are spending so much time working on sign language and working with her to do different gestures. It makes me really happy that she is getting it. I knew she would but to actually see things happening is awesome.

Raising money last night for a camp that Ola will benefit from was great and having her do her first sign last night made the whole evening a little bit sweeter.

checking out the menu

haven't sewn a thing

2011-07-29T23:35:00.000-07:00

It's 9:02pm and I have just taken my hair down from the loose bun it's been in all day. It still feels cold from being wet this morning.

I put the TV on and Cider House Rules is playing in the background. I like to have something on that I have already seen so it doesn't distract me from what I am working on. It's a comfortable feeling really, like my family is sitting in the living room chatting about their day.

I have so many ideas and plans fluttering around inside my head that I can't even focus on what to start first. Do you have those days? All day long when you can't sit down and sew, or knit or craft you are waiting... tapping your feet for the kids bed time. Then the kids want one more glass of water, one more pit stop even though she has already gone 3 times. Your three year old that isn't scared of the dark suddenly is. UGH! go to bed!

Then the little one needs an extra snuggle, and I am happy to comply but all the while I am planning on what to cut, how to sew...

Then after a few extra taps on the back, hunched over the crib rail trying not to make a peep, I can slip out.

Then I get in front of the computer and I get lost.... in Pinterest. Lord have mercy on me.

It's now 11:16 and I haven't cut or sewn a thing.

Instead I present to you Bazinga! the most helpful kitty I have ever met.

his eyes are closed and he is taking in the light like it's a sunny day

Oh he knew I was talking about him, he comes to see what's up

I just realized that Bazinga and I have the same colored eyes

he would make a nice scarf

oh no! his butt hole is on my head, and yes he is getting neutered in 6 weeks

oh man... thank you for putting you butt down, now scratch a little to the left

What did you do tonight?

july, it's been a long one.

2011-07-26T10:46:00.000-07:00

July has been a long, tired, sometimes sad, sometimes fun month. There has been lots of falling into bed past midnights, lots of up half the nights with a restless, hot, fussy kids. Lots of cancelled outdoor play dates due to the unseasonably cold and wet weather we are having this summer. Wait? did I just contradict myself? I did! One hot nasty day, the next rain and cold. It's so weird but in all honesty I am not complaining, I really don't like the heat.

Here are a few of the things we have been up to...

turkey chicks

We hatched our first turkey chicks this month. I love hatching chicks. There is something about walking into the coop hearing those little "peep peeps" that make your heart pitter patter. I have never had turkey's before, and no they are not for Thanksgiving dinner!

water parks

This kid can not get enough of water parks. We have a few local ones, but just found a really nice one one the weekend while we were at a Ds picnic. The picnic was good, just one of the rare hot days we had made for a cranky pair of kids later in the day.

raspberry social

Our local country store has a raspberry social for Canada day. Everyone lines up and for a small donation you get this HUGE raspberry shortcake. Simple, but oh so good.

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Kittens learning the hard way that the side of the tub is slippery. He fell in about 2 seconds after this picture. He didn't panic, but I did!

warm bodies

Bazinga loves Basil. He really likes our other dog too, but she is a little bit more independent. Two lazy animals are cuter than one.

Basil, my sweet Basil

After much deliberating, and actually making the hard decision I decided that I needed to find a new home for Basil. It breaks my heart that I wasn't able to give him the attention and things he needed. Even though his surgery was successful his tummy has not been the same since. I decided he would benefit greatly from someone who had the ability to make Basil their priority and I did. His new owner is FAB! and he has already made a permanent dent in her mattress! I didn't tell anyone except family about this decision because even though I know this is what my family needed to do I didn't want to talk about it. I have never had to re-home a pet before and admitting that I took on more than I could handle was hard.

This week consists of getting ready for another market, sewing, and crafting (as much as I can anyways.)

Have a good week, I am off to the thrift store :)

canada eh?

2011-07-01T15:50:00.000-07:00

This super cool paint chip banner idea came from the lovely Rebekah Gough at A bit of Sunshine.

That's right, a banner made from paint chip samples = FREE!

Have a Happy Canada Day!

Click the link to get her directions

make something monday :: 4th of july paint chip banner

if I don't answer, call back.

2011-07-01T00:46:00.000-07:00

Two days ago I called the telephone company and cancelled our voicemail and our caller display. This was not done in a moment of stick it to the man, screw technology moment of spontaneity. It was more done in a desperate attempt to save another $12 a month. You know you are in a dire financial state when you are worried about cancelling your voicemail.

Now if you would have spoken to me as recently as last night you would understand how much this whole thing has upset me. I have been a crying, bawling, sobbing mess of a mother the last couple of days. Today on the other hand I am feeling a little bit more at peace with the whole thing. Cancelling the call display and voicemail didn't cause all of the tears, they were more or less just the cherry on top of what I would call a long, truth telling, reality check of a week. The kind of reality check that is like getting smacked across the face with a stick.

When Mark and I took over the complete mortgage of our modest home back in December I knew that we were going to be in for it. I knew that we were going to be so house poor, but so rich in knowing that this little slice of previous grow up heaven would be ours and ours alone. I thought that we would figure it out and that we would be ok.

Thankfully when Mark got his new job a couple of months ago, I thought we were laughing. It was more like we were being laughed at. Even with the steady paycheque we were not able to make ends meet, and we were falling behind. Falling behind is really a sunshine and lollipop way of saying that we were drowning in bills and late payments on everything but this money hungry monster of a mortgage.

Having money on your mind constantly eats at you to the point where sleep isn't possible, and that combined with eating like crap and drinking way too much tea to try to make up for the lack of sleep turns you into a complete scattered mess.

I totally broke down when my Mom asked if I wanted help. Of course I wanted the help, but at the same time I feel like I got myself into this, I am going to get myself out of it. I didn't want to borrow money, but at the same time we were spending so much more trying to get out of the credit card debt we accumulated trying to get through a lull in work for most of last year.

Two days ago I felt like I was drowning. I couldn't breathe. I was spent... totally drained. No tears left, no energy, no motivation... nothing... absolutely nothing. It seemed everywhere I turned I needed money. Gas, groceries, more formula and Poppy asking for a cookie at the farmers market. That one broke me, how do you explain to a 3 year old that you just can't afford the cookie? ugh...

Admitting that you need some help is really hard. It's hard to say it out loud, but if I didn't I was scared that we would get into some serious money trouble that we might not be able to get ourselves out of.

So instead of throwing myself another full day pity party I decided to do some searching. I had a meeting today at our local Employment office (honestly a place I never thought I would go) and I am currently brainstorming a few ideas to implement into a home business.

Today I am trying to put a different spin on having to cancel our voicemail. I am old enough to remember a time without answering machines and I remember getting our first one. I promptly figured out how to get a C+C Music Factory song on it. Yeah I was that cool.

I remember a time where there was no such thing as call display, or cellphones, or a 300 channel option on cable. Do I really need these things? No, I have dealt without them before. I was told today that old school is the new school, so really I am right on top of the latest trend.

Not having call display is't the end of the world, but man those telemarketers are annoying, even more so when you don't know if it's your mother calling, or someone trying to sell you a magazine subscription. Today I answered two of the latter.

So... If I don't answer, call back.

Ivory Vintage Market

2011-06-24T15:00:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is market day! Will you be stopping by?

I don't have ton of stock (my sewing machine decided it doesn't want to sew nicely last night) but I have dolls, and 5 of my new Owl toys, plus button earrings and button hairpins!

I am looking forward to meeting everyone and of course selling some of this stuff.

See you there!

Location and times over to the right ------>

late night blogging with a kitten on my shoulder

2011-06-23T00:26:00.000-07:00

One of the last times Ola and I saw Katie (our IDP consultant) I talked to her about how I was frustrated about how as a parent I feel like my kids have to compete with other kids to meet milestones and succeed. I was frustrated that even though I went through the same thing with Poppy that I felt like I was experiencing it all over again with Ola.

Obviously I don't need to talk about Ola's potential delays, we all know that they might be there, or they might not. As of right now I think that I can safely say that Ola's development is about 5-8 months behind her peers. I am using that range because her development is staggered right now. She is not as far behind in eating as I think she is in motor skills and speech. Everyone has their opinions on where she should be, but for me I am content in knowing that she is progressing and really that is all that matters. I know that there will be times when the development picks up and other times (like currently) that things slow down. We seem to have hit a stalemate on the crawling (creeping) but are making leaps and bounds in the eating department. I dunno... It is what it is and there is no sense in dwelling in it, it will only make me crazy. Trying to compare kids with Ds to each other is next to impossible. Every child with Ds is so different from one another that something that Ola can do now might not be possible for another child for another 6 months. When I see how other kids are progressing with their crawling I have to remember that Ola is getting really good at her self feeding. It's apples and oranges really, and when our kids are 5 and all doing the same thing the fact that Ola is 14 months and doesn't crawl won't matter.

Now Poppy, she is another story. According to the charts she was late getting her teeth (first one at 9 months), she was a late walker (14 months) and a later talker (2- 2 1/2 years). I remember Mark had to take her for her 18 month inoculations and the public health nurse told him she was "concerned" that at 18 months Poppy's language was so delayed. Up until that point I knew that maybe she could be saying more but wasn't really that worried about it. I started looking into speech therapy and then realized that the 18 month waiting list would take her to her 4th birthday and that wouldn't fly with me. We got her into a group speech session and by the time the session started she was talking up a storm. There was no need to worry, however I did pick up some stuff that is proving helpful with Ola, so no harm in taking that class I suppose. Currently I am really happy about where Poppy is. I think that she is a sharp as a tac, talks up a storm, and is F U N N Y. She has a memory that astounds me, she remembers everything, and I can't get anything past her.

The other day Katie sent me a really lovely email with a link about "what a 4 year old should know" and I found it really funny that later that night I would have a little crazy mommy rant on my brother about something similar to what I had read.

Let me set the scene.

Someone asked Poppy to count how many servings of ice-cream needed to be dished out for dessert, so Poppy started counting and re-counted two people. Instead of counting 9 she counted 11. I didn't think anything of it, she does that sometimes to be silly (she can count to 14.)

My brother told me that she counted wrong, and I didn't think anything of it until he said to me "She should be able to count to 40."

I asked him why to 40? and he pointed out that he knew a almost 5 year old who could and that Poppy should be able to as well. She is 3 1/2 just so we are clear.

I flipped. I went all crazy mommy on him. I did.

I started spewing things that Poppy could do that I figured this other little one couldn't.

Does she know how to hold a baby chick? collect eggs? hold a kitten? help feed her sister? walk a mini pony? do bum drops on a trampoline?

I freaked and then realized that everyone was staring at me, but I was so mad. Did he think Poppy was stupid? why the pressure to know how to count to 40 at 3 1/2?

I know now that I over-reacted but I think the subject was just so fresh in my head and I was already feeling sensitive on the subject that I didn't know what else to do. Plus I think that I took it personally as a stab at my parenting skills, like I have failed her as a mother because I haven't taught her to count to 40 yet. ( and yes, I know that this does not make me a bad parent.)

Every parent wants their child to be successful and I would be lying if I didn't admit that I do a little happy dance inside when people compliment me on how bright my girls are, whether it be Poppy's funny banter or Ola's bright smile.

Ola and her friends have taught me to not sweat the small stuff. Enjoy painting the sky pink, Draw 6 legs on your cats! just take it day by day and celebrate the daily accomplishments.

Congrats to J on the 300gm weight gain!
Congrats to P on first pigtails!
Congrats to A for cutting those first teeth!
and congrats to my little Ola for eating tiny pieces of grapes on your own!

ahhh progress, you sweet thing

2011-06-21T17:59:00.000-07:00

Ola started trying to self feed a little bit ago, but I thought today maybe I would grab the camera.

We have made big progress in the food department lately. Going from formula and cereal (mixed with amounts of very smooth and runny fruits and veggies) to bowls of little noodles in pasta sauce, pieces of grapes, smashed avocado, banana in her little chewy bag thing, and bits and pieces of whatever we are eating at the time. She has tried chicken, ham, ice cream, whipped cream, crackers and I am sure there are more but I can't think of any right now. I try to give her anything we are eating so she is exposed to everything that we eat. Knock on wood, but I think we have avoided the dreaded texture issues!

Ola also gives high fives! Getting one is awesome, it instantly makes you smile!

She is now also saying DaDa, and I know she is because she says it loud and proud just to Mark when she sees him. With him travelling so much it is so nice to see him get such a warm welcome home.

She is starting to do different things each day, but don't get it twisted, this girl will do anything for her bottle!

happy daddy day

2011-06-19T23:31:00.000-07:00

Oh Mark, I love you.

Thanks for all that you do.

saturday snaps

2011-06-18T09:00:00.000-07:00

Life goes by too quick and you never know when a photo op may come your way.

So grab any camera and snap away!

leg-warmered baby legs

cheap sunglasses

kid loving

ice-cream and sparkly shoes

a typical basset day

first times in a shopping carts

kittens coming home

pondering a spare

pre-school sing-a-longs

back to basics

2011-06-14T08:29:00.000-07:00

10 on 10

2011-06-10T19:32:00.000-07:00

I found this very lovely blog and a project that she does on the 10th of every month. It's simple really, just take a photo an hour for 10 hours on the 10th of the month and voila! 10 on 10! Then share a link to your blog on her blog.

For my first month I decided to take photos of our newest addition. He doesn't have a name as of yet, but he sure is a cutie.

a cleansing breath

2011-06-08T20:03:00.000-07:00

Just when I think that I am feeling comfortable in this space I'm not.

Just when I think I have figured out the purpose of this blog I haven't.

Just when I think I have a path to follow I don't.

I have said here before that I am not sure where I want this blog to go. I want it for my memories because lets face it, I can type a whole lot faster than I can put a pen to paper. Plus, for some reason I always seem to make time for this, and I know that at midnight when I am crawling into bed I wouldn't reach over for a journal.

After Ola was born I wanted this to be a place where I could talk openly and honestly about Down syndrome and my feelings on it. I wanted to use this space as a place for advocacy and education. I wanted a place where I could come, type and cry and get it all out so I could move on with my day. A place where I could come and share the great moments and accomplishments. A place where you could come and love up my little sweet Ola.

I want to type all the crazy little things that Poppy amazes me with everyday. Her little jokes, questions that make me laugh out loud, or make me turn my head in disbelief so I can have a little snicker without her seeing. I want to share how wise and loving she is, that she knows about Ola's special friends, and that she loves them like they are her own.

It is crazy to me, that in the 3 years that I have been blogging my husband hasn't come here once to see what I write about. He hears from friends and family about the blog but honestly has no idea what I share. In some ways I want to thank him for letting this place be mine, but on the other I am curious why he doesn't seem to care. I don't actually know who in my family reads this blog besides my Mom (hi Mom!) I wish they would read it. It would mean a lot to me.

I started this blog in early 2008 as a place to send my customers for updates and information. I kinda like that the dolls are hardly mentioned here any more. I have been thinking a lot about my dolls lately and I just can't get up enough steam to let them be a success. I honestly don't know if it's fear or laziness that is holding me back.

I think that I always hoped that Poot & Boogie would become an overnight sensation and Moms and other bloggers would help make me a household name. For what, I have no idea, but I think that I always wanted some type of "fame" out of it. I have come to realize that the world has enough popular mommy bloggers, enough Ds mommy bloggers, enough crafty mommy bloggers, and honestly I think that is ok with me now. Like some of you (ok I bet all of you!) watched the last episode of the Oprah Winfrey show a few weeks ago, and even though I thought it was for the most part a preachy speech but there is one thing that she said that sent shivers up my spine. I don't remember the exact wording of course but basically it was that everyone has a platform to change someones life. In her case it was her stage, it was her show. It my case it's this blog. My words are my Oprah show. She said it didn't matter how many people you had in your circle. Whether it be 20 or 30, or just your friends and family and neighbors. Every person has the opportunity and ability to share, listen, teach, learn or speak. It doesn't matter currently if I have 10000 followers or 29 (but who wouldn't want 10000?) My words are reaching you and I Thank you for taking time out of your day to read about what I am writing.

I look at quite a few blogs throughout the day. Some are Down syndrome ones, some are sewing and crafty ones. Some are photography and lifestyle ones, design ones, and so on. I am not quite sure where I would like to fit in the blog world. Can I just be Leanna the blogger?

If you haven't noticed already, take a look around, I have made some changes (mostly cosmetic at the moment) but I will be adding more content to my blog in the near future. I was feeling unmotivated here, and I had been afraid to switch things up here but decided today was the day to take a leap of faith. I wanted to refresh this space, breathe some new life into it. I am hoping that my little changes have started the ball rolling. I am planning on joining a blog networking site (don't know which one yet) I figure I am always looking for new blogs, so maybe someone is looking for mine!

It is my hope that you will share this blog (if you want to of course! no pressure!) so that more people will come share this space with us. We all have an opportunity to learn through poot & boogie (myself included) so spread the word! facebook it! blog it! share it! No need to ask, just go for it!

You don't have to have a google profile to comment on posts, use the anonymous option but leave your name so I know who you are! Feel free to comment, share links, ideas or whatever!

again, thanks for taking the time, it means the world to me :)

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Ola's great food adventures

2011-06-03T09:59:00.000-07:00

Lately we have been working on food with Ola.

Now to some parents "working on food" might seem strange.

Most parents don't have to work at food with their kids. I totally took for granted how easy it was to get Poppy to eat. I started feeding her cereal at 6 months and we progressed from there. She loved to eat. She ate pretty much everything I gave her and still does.

With Ola on the other hand it's been a bit more of a challenge. The Down syndrome is obviously is a factor in this whole situation. Children with Down syndrome have a lower muscle tone that makes the whole eating process a little harder. Coupled with a smaller palate that makes them thrust out their tongues feeding can be tricky. I wrote a little bit about this in my post on Ola's highchair.

Ola has had a bit of a roller coaster ride with her eating. I started trying to giver her cereal at 6 months. After a bit of a slow start, and lots of spitting out, we had success!

lots of spillage, but she got better and she loved it!

Then this happened...

Ola in Children's hospital in October with Intususseption. Her small intestine pushed it's way through her large and out her bum. This was not a fun 5 days, but I was glad to hear that it is very common in all children. The Ds didn't have anything to do with it. Phew!

When Ola came home from the hospital I was really scared to try feeding her cereal again. I was sure that the food had something to do with it. Crazy I know, but when you just saw your daughters intestines cereal doesn't seem very important.

Ola also had a ton of colds this winter. Every time she got a cold we would have to wait for it to pass to carry on. All she wanted was her bottle, so that is the way it was.

After a visit from our IDP practicum student in March I decided why not just try a Mum Mum cracker?

Ola did this.

She just put it in her mouth like she had been doing it for months. Needless to say the crackers have been a permanent fixture in our cupboard ever since.

Kids with Down syndrome also seem to have texture issues. So while we have been rockin' out the oatmeal cereal and all types of smooth baby food the textures seemed to be a bit off putting. She wasn't refusing them or anything, but you could see her working her little tongue to get them all sorted out in her mouth.

Slowly, I have been making her food a bit more chunky, and decided to try a few new things.

On a whim Mark offered her a little teeny tiny piece of chicken. She loved it!

Then I gave her chunky smashed avocado. She loved that!

Cheese? why the heck not! Loved it!

Oh this kid!

chunky avocado!

The next step is self feeding, I have also been doing this as well. I bought her a bowl that suctions to the table so she can reach in and grab pieces of food one at a time. She is really good at grabbing lots at once, but that also means lots in the mouth, which to me means choking! and we really don't want to go down that road agin.

If I put food on her spoon she can get it in her mouth quite easily.

sweet potatoes are this girly's favourite!

She doesn't really like it very much when I take the spoon away to refill it, but then she forgives me when she gets it back.

Poppy and I decided to let her just play with her food one night. It was a little more chunky with cubes of carrots and didn't want it so I let her just play.

nice!

It was a mess let me tell you, but she had fun, and so did I! Poppy has tried to convince me every night since to let her to do it again with no luck.

I am taking the whole food thing slowly with her but I am concerned that I was being to cautious. I am going to pick up the pace a bit, but Katie (our IDP) made a good point. Rather than try to rush it feed her at the developmental stage she's at. Ola can sit by herself, but can't crawl yet, so that puts her at about 8 months? 9 maybe? so we are right on track with food when you look at it that way and it helps take a bit of the pressure off.

Plus Basil is loving this messy stage. He makes a good housekeeper non?

one

2011-05-30T08:13:00.000-07:00

A week before Ola was going to be turning one I was in full denial that she had a birthday coming up. I had a basic idea of what I wanted to do. I made the invites and had sent them in time. I knew who was coming, but I still felt unprepared and not ready for her to turn one.

I remember the week of her birthday I was feeling really glad. Really glad that I had made it through the first year. When she was born I didn't think I would make it. Her unexpected diagnosis obviously threw me, and when I was sitting with her in the nursery I couldn't even imagine what she would be like at one. She was the tiniest, quietest little bit of a thing. She seemed a little distant, but I know that is because I was separated from her so much for the first 5 days. I swore the nurses were trying to keep her away from me. Every time I would make it in thinking I could feed her they would have just finished and she would be sleeping. Just when I thought I could sneak in a little cuddle time they would have just put her back under the billi lights. Honestly I really hated walking in and out of that hospital without her. I felt like a huge failure, and it was depressing. I cried almost every time I got back out to my car. I only cracked once and cried in front of a nurse and I thought there was no way she would let me take my baby home. I was scared to cry there, to show any sign of weakness.

I talked to Mark during that week about how a year ago this was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with. It was seriously the saddest/scariest part of my whole entire life. I know that sounds bad but let me explain a little. We were so unbelievable happy about Ola being born, and really she was a healthy, happy baby. I am smiling in the above picture... see :) Any parent that is given any type of news about any type of health problem I think is upset. It was just so damn scary to not really know anything about Ds. When I was initially reading the info it was all the worst case scenario type stuff. Heart defects, deafness, blindness, different grades of mental retardation. Those two words were the worst. Mental Retardation. I think it's time to come up with a new term people. I hate that term in relation to my daughter. I prefer Developmental Delays. Do you hear me medical people! It's time for a change. (Ok so there is my rant!)

I digress...

I just wish that a year ago as a scared Mama I could have taken a little red pill that would have sent me to now to know that everything is alright. I wish that new moms that are having their beautiful babies now could do the same. I wish that I could hold their hand and pass them a kleenex and tell them that really every thing is going to be OK. Really. It is.

Back to the party.

I wanted to have a birthday breakfast for Ola. I figured she wouldn't be eating her cake, and she couldn't eat a hot dog so we were having breakfast. She loves herself some oatmeal cereal and blueberries.

We got everyone to my parents house for 9:30, and ate!

Mark insisted that there be waffles, so he manned the waffle station.

Mom made muffins, and scones. We had fruit and a cereal buffet. We had big kettles of tea and coffee, and pitchers of juice and milk.

It was on Easter weekend so we had an Easter Egg hunt

Ola saw her mini cupcake and in high-insight she could have tried it. After her choking episode I am not rushing the food anymore.

I made all these little suckers. Don't worry I had a pan.

birthday girl!

they were just too darn cute I had to take lots of pictures

One of the goals we set for Ola was to be able to sit by her first birthday. We worked hard on it and she did it! At 11 months! It was really important to me that we have a picture so we set her up by my parents garden and had a photo shoot!

It was a beautiful day for April and I am so glad that we got to have the whole thing outside. I think it actually got hot at one point!

I am just so glad that we have Ola. She is the teacher and we are her students. She teaches me everyday and for that I am thankful.

Now I fully realize that it is the end of May and that Ola turned one in April. Her birthday party was a little late because my parents were in Hawaii and I didn't want them missing any of the action.

seven

2011-05-22T13:22:00.000-07:00

Thirteen years ago this fall I was 19 and had freshly been dumped by my first love, over the phone. I was starting night school and I was nervous. I had to re-do math and chemistry to improve my transcripts for a college program I wanted to take. I was early so I went to find my classroom. I was the first one there and the door was still locked. I made myself comfortable on the floor in front of some lockers and waited. Pretending to read a book, I watched peoples feet as they walked past. Then I saw them. Hiking boots. My first love was big into hiking, and trying to be the best girlfriend on the planet so was I. I looked up and saw a skinny, nerdy looking guy with glasses, a big nose, and a weird haircut. A really bad, tight white t-shirt (with a little zipper near the neck. yuck!), faded black jeans and the boots. I put my head back down and sneakily watched him walk to the door and try the knob. He was walking with a girl (his girlfriend I assusmed) and then he walked away. A few minutes later the teacher opened the door and I walked in. I sat down near the back and took out my stuff. People filed in and then nerdy guy walked past and sat at the front in the far right corner of the room. He looked back and I smiled, put my head back down and told myself that I was still heartbroken and to forget about him.

The teacher told us that we had assigned seat and he called out our names one by one. When he got to me I was directed to the very front seat second from the right. 5 other seats were filled and then he called out" Mark". The nerdy hiker got put right back in the seat he was in before, but now he was right beside me. I smiled again, and looked forward.

The first night was hard, I was (and am) so bad at math. I didn't bring my caluclator and I was worried that I was already looking hopeless to my teacher.

I started walking out and "Mark" came up behind me and said hi. I thought he seemed nice, but he really impressed me when he walked me to my jeep that night. The parking lot for the school is a bit shady so I apreciated the gesture. He was parked close to me in a little blue/purple car that he drove fast.

I went home and told my Mom and my Auntie Cathy all about him. That he had hiking boots!, a last name that I couldn't even attempt to say properly. I told them about the glasses and the t-shirt (ugh). I am pretty sure they could tell that I was smitten.

I had classes twice a week. I thought about him all weekend, When I walked into my chemistry class the next Tuesday the mystery girl that Mark was with was in my class. She recognized me, and introduced herself. She was Marks cousin (his cousin!) I secretly jumped for joy inside my body. Apparently he had noticed me the first night as well, but not because of my shoes, becasue of my Jeep.

On Thursday I dressed as cute as I could and I am pretty sure I wore my hiking boots too! We chatted a bit more and he walked me to my car again at the night. In a total stalker move I waited for him to leave and I followed him home. I felt like a total bad ass following him, I let him turn into his cul-d-sac and I turned around a left. He didn't live far from me, I was even more excited.

At some point in those early weeks I gave him my phone number. He started calling, and hanging out at my house a lot. I told my Mom we were doing math, but she knew we just wanted to sit at the dining room table and stare at each other. We were friends, and hadn't even touched hands and then he asked me out. I thought he wanted to go on a group date and I am pretty sure I hurt his feelings when I asked if his cousin would be there with her boyfriend too. He recovered and picked me up for our date in his purple car. I still didn't know him that well, and that night while we were driving I told him that if I went missing no-one would ever know where to look for me. He had driven to the beach on all the scary back roads that up until that point I had never driven on. We walked to the beach and then we drove to dinner.

Sitting at dinner he asked if he could ask me a hypothetical question. If a guy liked this girl, but the guy had a girlfriend should he tell the girl he likes? Umm yeah you should tell me you have a girlfriend! He did, and told me that they were breaking up. She was on vacation far away and they were breaking up as soon as she got home. I told him that we could be friends, but that I didn't even want him holding my hands until he was single. He listened and didn't try anything.

He kept me updated on his relationship status at school and with phone calls, and then on November 4th 1998 he asked me to be his girlfriend. Really, he asked and I had to check a box in the card he gave me. :) All those nerdy things about him had become cute (big nose and all!) and I was falling in love.

Us at some point in our dating ( I am pretty sure this was for an anniversary, we didn't get all fancy for nothing!

Then after a brief and heart wrenching breakup (and makeup) on October 30th 2002 he asked me to marry him.

On May 22nd 2004 we got hitched! It was such a nice day, and friends and family told us that it was the best wedding ever. I still personally think it's the best one I have ever been to, but I am a little biased.

Seven years ago I married my best friend.

aww.... look at those fake nails!

Obviously a lot happens in 7 years, but I think that this last year has been one of the hardest years that we have had. A combination of money (or a lack there of) , streeses about the kids and our health, family life, jobs (or lack there of) has really shown to me what love can withstand. The kind of love that in one minute makes you laugh and then in the next makes you cry. The kind of love that make you want to rip your hair out and run away and then brings you right back in for a hug.

Even though sometimes there are things that I am sure we would both like to change about one another I am glad that I am on this journey with him. When I asked him what he wanted to do for our anniversary he said he wanted me to go to church with him today. I did, and you know what it was really nice to be there so I could tell Poppy all about our wedding day. We sat upstairs so we could look over the whole church and it was really nice.

This was the only photo I could find of us together more recently from Ola's baptism..

So here we are 7 years after the day, a little heavier (me) and little hairier (not me!) and a little more harried with 2 kids.

I wouldn't change anything.

(Ok I can't lie, 20lbs gone would be nice!)

how often do you fake it?

2011-05-06T00:58:00.000-07:00

I had my second roller derby practice tonight. My right thigh is throbbing, my back is aching, my hip is (wait let me check...) not bruised, but sore.

Tonight was hard. So hard that I had a lump in my throat after the first half hour. Those pesky lumps that are soon followed my tears. The lumps that won't allow you to speak, because if you try, tears are going to flow.

I thought to myself. I don't belong here. What am I doing here? My baby is at home with a fever, and my 3 year old is waiting for me to get home to put her to bed. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am NOT a roller derby player. Seriously what the heck am I thinking coming here? I can't do this. I am a total faker.

Now don't get me wrong. I know that I can't skate very well, I know that it is going to take me a long time to get there, and really that is ok. Going to roller derby has another purpose.

Roller derby is a time for me to be me. Now I realize that "me" has a lot of components.

Leanna the wife

Leanna the mother

Leanna the daughter, sister, hobby farmer, child courier, Ds advocate, cook, maid, people pleaser, station wagon driving, converse wearing girl.

The "me" that I know right now is very focused on everything else but me. Even my extra curricular activities mostly revolve around Ds. There are lots of things that I want to do, but they just don't "fit in" right now. I have a busy schedule, It has taken me two days to get back to my dog groomer for goodness sakes.

Roller Derby is a time for me to be me. Whatever that means. It's a time where I can just go and skate, fall down and escape. I was feeling really overwhelmed. The coach wanted us to get into a formation so we could weave in and out of one another. There was no way that I figured I could do that. I was going to knock down each and every one of those girls. I was going to knock them down and they were going to hate me. I was going to make them fall and they would get bruised, and they were going to hate me, and I really don't want them to hate me.

So instead of getting into formation, I swerved to the outside edge and did wide laps on my own. I could feel the tension in my body. My back was aching, my right thigh was throbbing, my jaw hurting from clenching my jaw in my mouth guard. And then it happened, I let it go. I told myself that Ola was fine with my Mom fever and all. That Poppy would be fine staying up an extra half hour so I could put her to bed. My jaw relaxed and my skates coasted along the rink. I sped up, and my body relaxed. I did two cross overs in a row, and the feeling of flying came back to me just like I hoped it would. It took me back to skating up and down the tar lined streets of my early childhood, blasting NKOTB on my white and teal Sony walkman. This was the feeling I had been waiting for. The freeing feeling, like I could just if only for an hour and half be me. Just me.

After the hour was over and I rolled over to sit down and take my skates off, the lump was still there but the feeling behind it was different.

Instead of feeling not worthy of skating with the team, I felt proud that I could get to the point where I could just let go and take in the moment. The moment where I can put Ds, fevers and coughs out of my mind and focus on me.

Well me, and that ref counting how many times I can skate the track in 5 minutes. I hear that the goal is 25 laps in 5 minutes.

I did 20.

Maybe I am not such a bad skater after all?

you've come a long way baby

2011-05-04T17:11:00.000-07:00

May 4th 2010, such a teeny tiny little girl

May 4th 2011, what a difference a year makes!

Don't worry I haven't forgotten about the birthday post! It's coming I promise!

I fought the law... but the law won.

2011-04-30T08:41:00.000-07:00

"aw crap!"

"Mom...Crap is a bad word."

"ugh, I know Poppy, I know"

Let's rewind 10 seconds shall we.

We are merrily on our way to a ENT appointment for Ola. Mark is in the passenger seat, the kids are in the back of my mom mobile.

I take our quiet road and then a even quieter back road to get to the freeway. Roads passing by blueberry fields, a turf farm, horses, ranches, markets.

I am really happy on my road, until "they" appear.

The "doddlers."

These people drive me crazy. Out for a sunday drive at 9 am on a Tuesday.

I pondered my options.

1. Wait it out. It will only take 5 minutes to get to the highway now.
2. Pass em.

I looked, it was safe. I had a striped yellow line. I could pass.

I did.

and then I promptly got pulled over. I could hear the laughter from the doddlers as they passed by me.

"aw crap!"

"Mom... Crap is a bad word."

"ugh, I know Poppy, I know"

Mark could hardly contain his laughter as I slowed and turned off onto a side road where I joined 3 other cars.

"I don't even know what to do! I have never been pulled over before! I have driven for half my life and I haven't even gotten a parking ticket!"

I rolled down my window and smiled.

"hi there" (I smiled as cutely as I could)

He smiled back. (it's working! It's working! I am so cute he is going to let me go!)

"You know why I pulled you over right?" He flashes the radar gun my way. 91km.

"yes"

"Ok, can I see your licence please?

"Sure, I am allowed to get out of my car? It's in the back?"

"Yes mamm"

Ahh crap he called me Mamm.

"Am I going to find anything on your record?

"No way! I have never even gotten a parking ticket! This is just as bad as the time I got my first cavity."

"uhh, Ok Mamm, can I see your registration?"

"ok" sulking

The officer walked away and Mark laughed some more.

"you won't get a ticket"

"yes I will! he called me Mamm. Ugh... why with you and the girls in the car?"

Poppy starts asking me questions.

I am so annoyed at myself, that and the fact that I am now going to be late to the ENT.

The officer comes back, tells me that he is going to be "nice" and only give me a speeding ticket, not an excessive speeding ticket.

I say thank you about a hundred times like he is giving me the winning lotto numbers.

He tells me that if I pay within 30 days I will save even more money.

"Thank You officer."

"No problem, take care Lead foot.

Lead foot! I think he meant to say Leanna.

He did mean to say Leanna right?

holy hell on wheels

2011-04-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

Last night I did something that really scared me.

driving to the scary rink

Have you ever read those Lululemon bags? "Do something everyday that scares you." That's what it says.

When I first read that I thought well that could be anything. Sometimes opening up a stinky diaper scares me, but somehow I don't think that's what they had in mind when they printed that on their bags.

After reading a post on another blog Making in Lovely about blogger Nicole doing Derby Lite which from what I understand is Roller derby for fun and exercise. I thought to myself if she can do this, so can I.

Now as I assumed there is no Derby Lite for fun and fitness in my area, but there is a roller derby team. The The Reign Valley Vixens.

Hmm... I think I could do this. Maybe...

I thought about it for a day or two looked around online, did some reading, and then in a spur of the moment blurted it out to Mark.

I waited for the laughter.

Surprisingly he didn't really laugh. I showed him the website, talked to him about some of the stuff that I read and decided that I wanted to go out and see what it was all about.

I sent an email to the Smash Test Betties which are the newbies of the Vixens asking if I could come watch. I texted a couple of friends to see if they wanted to come with me, but they were both a no go. Then I waited for Thursday.

I was nervous all day. I am not sure why, I wasn't going to skate or anything, but for some reason the idea of the tattooed tough girls freaked me right out (and the dumb part is that I am a tattooed girl myself!)

I remember thinking what the heck are you doing right now? as I walked into the practice rink. I was waiting for the bad girl attitude, rudeness, we are too good for you smugness, but you know what? It wasn't that all all.

All the girls were really nice, the coach was really cool and I was welcomed with open arms. He took the time to come off the rink and chat, and the derby players were really open to answering my questions.

I was excited but still scared when I decided to buy my skates the other day. I am doing this!

I texted my friend Cynthia last night as I was getting out of my car to go into the rink, "I'm going in, please pray for me"

I went in, and said hi to the girls I had met last week, and started putting on my gear. I must have looked a little silly carrying my stuff in a brown shopping bag. The other girls all have suitcases for all of their stuff.

The coach yelled that we had one minute and it was time to get out on the rink. I am gonna fall flat on my ass, I just know it.

I made it to the middle and we got right into it. They do know I haven't been on skates in 20 years right? ok, is someone going to walk me through this? No? Ok then here I go!

We started with what would be simple exercise drills, minus the skates, pads, helmet and mouth guard, but on skates Oh My Gawd it was hard. It's bad enough barely being able to stand up, but then throw in the getting up and down off the ground and it's a whole other ball game!

We practiced skating and stopping, and just being able to stand up. My toe stops fell off twice and tripped me, so I bailed once but it wasn't bad at all. The pads make me feel way better about hitting the concrete.

I did the whole hour and then stayed to watch the Vixens practice. These are serious athletes. they practice hard! and they have the bruises and scars to prove it.

I feel kinda bad that I had so many misconceptions about them. I hope that maybe I can help change that.

I know I have a really long way to go before getting drafted, but I plan on trying! Then comes the fun part, picking your derby alias!

my super sweet skates and stripy knee high socks

birthday girl

2011-04-15T19:54:00.001-07:00

I have been trying and trying to upload this video all day, but it just won't happen. It looks like I am doing a bad ninja movie. I have no idea why the video and the audio are cockeyed. You can still see us though, and you can hear us.

The video took 6 takes. The first one I cried and cried, the second the dogs barked, the third the phone rang... twice, the fourth was deleted after I took a looonnngg pause, and the fifth after I realized that I had been taking for 5 minutes.

Ola and I had it in one shot :) and after trying to say everything that I have been wanting to say for the last year, I don't think I could sum it up any better than some smiling shots of the birthday girl :)

you know exactly what to do

2011-04-09T15:38:00.000-07:00

You know those moments that you have as a parent where you think to yourself "Wow... that could have ended badly."

Those moments where for a moment time runs in slow motion. It almost stops actually, you see everything frame by frame The whole moment probably last only 30 seconds but slowed down in a time of emergency it seems to last minutes.

Your brain rifles through files of information searching for the right piece of info to pull out and read. You scan, Where did I learn what to do in this moment? School? Life? A book? Online? Ugh! And then it happens. Your brain kicks in and you move, you know exactly what to do.

You move swiftly, but not frantically. Get behind her. Get behind her. You think to yourself. Focus, keep your hands from shaking, that will only make it harder. Your eyes precisely focus on your fingers. Pinch the clip, yeah that's right. You undo one clip at a time first the left, then the right. You shrug off the shoulder straps, pulling out her arms, left then right again. Careful not to pull her arms to hard, don't hurt her.

You pull her out of the highchair from behind, and you look at her face. Her big blue eyes are panicked, so big. She looks straight into yours and wordlessly asks for help. Mom, I can't breathe I am choking! Help me!

Flip her over, you know how to do this, flip her over! and you do it. You flip her on her belly and aim her head down, you smack her back just hard enough that it makes you uncomfortable, and it happens. That little piece of cucumber shoots straight out and hits the floor.

Mark gets to me, and it's over.

I flip her back and she smiles and claps her hands, and in that moment I know she will be alright.

I get a pat on the back and a "Where did you learn how to do that?"

"First aid and CPR. I had to practice, They had baby dummies, and they put plugs in the airway. You had to do it right to get the plug to shoot out. I did it over and over again making sure I had it. I was one of the only ones in class with a toddler, and a baby on the way, and there was no way I wasn't going to master it."

"Well good thing."

"Yeah. Whoa that was intense. I guess cucumber is out for now huh?"

I looked at Ola, she smiled.

I took a big deep breath, and was glad that Twiggy got the cucumber and not Basil.

beg, steal or borrow

2011-04-07T07:31:00.000-07:00

Saturday was looking like a promising day. I spent the day with Poppy. We went to the livestock auction in our mission to become farm girls. (more on that later) We had plans to pick up a cheap, very well loved, well used incubator to start our adventures in chick hatching in the afternoon so we needed eggs. We sat and waited patiently, bid and won some bronze turkey eggs. 10 of them. What in the heck am I going to do with 10 turkeys? haha!

Mark and I had plans to meet up with my brother Brad and his girlfriend Sarah for cheap mexican food for a late celebration of my brothers birthday. We met up at 4:30 with them and left the girls with Auntie Bev and hit the road for the States. We weren't even gone 5 hours.

When we walked in the door I knew something was wrong.

There was thick white, heavy mucus vomit all over the house. 13 piles to be exact, but who's counting?

It was weird, almost like whipped egg whites. I hadn't ever really seen anything like it before. I am trained among other things as a vet assistant and it freaked me out, and I have seen some messed up stuff relating to animals. I knew it was Basil, they were big piles, way bigger than anything Twiggy could make, she is way too little, and he was acting weird, like something was following him.

Mark being Mark tried to convince me that everything would be fine and then left because anything that comes out of a body of any form makes him gag. I talked Poppy into going to bed sans book and songs, and fed Ola while watching Basil pace.

By 11pm I was thinking that we would be making a trip to the ER vet, which I hate. It is so expensive and my last experience there reminded me that my Vet (at the time) told me to just call their 24 hour number instead. I tried to rouse Mark. He had taken a codine filled cough suppressant. There is something going around, and you need something that strong to get any sleep. He was pretty much useless to me. He told me Basil would be fine...again, but I thought something more was going on. Honestly the thought of gastric torsion had come to mind and I am not a praying woman, but I prayed that wasn't it.

By midnight I was done waiting, and hoping.

I called the vet.

I almost didn't pay the $40 by credit card to the answering service to get the vet to return my call.

I almost didn't take him there, I was going to take him to the ER vet incase he needed surgery. But as things go I figured I would take him there and he would stop vomiting in the car, and I would have spent the $300 to walk in the door for nothing.

I almost didn't take a chance on the vet on call that I had never met and promised to meet him at the clinic in 30 minutes.

It's now 1am and I am standing in the parking lot cursing the vet that hasn't shown up and clinging to my cell phone in case I need to call 911 if someone mugs me.

1:30am the vet pops his head out and apologizes for being at a different door than I was expecting.

I go in, and he is looking at Basil like nothing is happening. Basil is walking around the back of the clinic like nothings up... of course.

The vet recommends x-rays, which I assumed would be done, but I am keeping a mental tab in my head of my totals. Lets get real. Money's tight and emergency middle of the night calls to the vet are not cheap. He warns that he doesn't have any help besides me so I have to help x-ray.

"It's fine, I used to work for a vet. No worries. Where are the shields?"

The first x-ray comes up and if I recall an "Oh...." and a really low murmured "shit" came out of his mouth.

I could see Basil's x-ray and his stomach was HUGE, filled with air and not right.

"It's torsion isn't it?"

"yup"

"Shit!"

"lets get another view, just to confirm..."

Yeah lets confirm that my poor Basil's stomach has detached from his abdominal wall and twisted. Yeah let's confirm that. That's awesome.

Second shot shows the same.

I know that torsion is bad, it doesn't usually end well. I knew it meant major surgery and it was going to be expensive.

Can you spot the trend in this post?

Yeah it's money, and the fact that we are not rolling in it. I worked for a vet in a really low income area. We had a lot of clients that just didn't have the cash if something major was to happen to their pet. I hated listening to the "sob" stories. I never really felt bad for any of them, I just figured they were cheap, or maybe they actually didn't have the money. In that case, in my mind they just shouldn't have the pet and that was that.

I knew I was about to be one of those clients. I knew that we didn't have the kind of money that we were going to need if I was going to let him slice into Basil.

I told him. Flat out.

And then I started to cry... a lot. It was embarrassing, but I couldn't stop it. I love Basil, and obviously I didn't want him to die.

The vet and I hatched a plan, and Basil got his surgery.

There are a few things that I am choosing to leave out at this point. but there is one thing that you need to know. The vet that I wasn't sure I wanted to trust is now our vet, and the only vet that I am going to see at our clinic. I was a little bit skeptical going in, but he is a rockstar to me now, and I am still trying to figure out how I am going to thank him for everything he did that night.

Basil stayed at the clinic the next day, and came home to go to sleep that night. Battered and bruised, but alive.

He is only allowed to eat the tiniest amount of food, and for a basset it's torture. Even in his current state, food is still his BFF.

The girls and I took him in for a re-check yesterday, and our vet was pleasantly surprised that Basil had the strength to walk in. He said he wasn't expecting that, and was glad that he was doing so well. He warned me to be cautiously optimistic about the next week. Quite a large portion of Basil's stomach tissue had died during the torsion and there is a chance even as I type this that he could get a massive infection and go septic. We are doing everything we can to prevent this, but some things we just can't control.

When we were getting ready to say our goodbyes, and I was restraining myself from wrapping my arms around the rockstar Poppy chimed in.

"I need to tell you somepin..." to the vet

"Ok Poppy what would you like to say? I could tell by his body language that he isn't around small children much. He was crouched down petting Basil.

"Thank you for saving my friend Basil"

"Oh... um... you are so welcome Poppy. Basil really wasn't feeling well when I met him, but I think you must be doing a really good job at home because he is feeling so much better."

He was looking extremely awkward and didn't know what else to say.

I was crying.

I am pretty sure Poppy just made his day, and she made me proud.

"No charge for the re-check ok?"

"Thank you again." followed by a nod of understanding.

"Call ME on Thursday. If I'm on a farm call, tell the girls to take a message and make sure to give it to ME. I will call you back."

I smile and we leave.

On the way home Beg Borrow and Steal by Ray LaMontange is playing on the radio. (Which coincidentally is my new favourite artist.)

I think of what just happened.

I begged for him to understand that I am not some "loser" to cheap to spend any of my money on my pet. I asked him to trust that I would hold up my end of our deal and that in my situation I really didn't have the money and it wasn't because Mark and I are lazy, or didn't care. Sometimes people's lives hit bumps in the road and we just happen to be in that spot right now.

I borrowed some money to cover the cost of Basil's surgery. I don't know what I would do without my parents sometimes. It is so humbling as a mother to have to go to my own mother and ask for help in that way.

And as for the stealing... I am pretty sure Poppy walked out with OUR vet's heart.

i am here

2011-04-04T20:08:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to pop in quickly while a bottle is warming... literally, I have 45 seconds tonight.

This past week has been full of milestones, memories, doggy surgeries, turkey's, chicks and such.

I will be back in a day or two to fill you in.

March 21st, just 2 days late

2011-03-23T16:52:00.000-07:00

World Down syndrome day was celebrated on March 21st. Now I don't know how I missed the memo, but I wasn't even aware of this until a few of my other Ds friends on facebook started posting things about it. So now you all know March 21st ( March for the 3rd copy of the 21st chromosome) is World Down syndrome day and next year I will try to remember it.

I don't want to come on here and go on and on about Ds, this blog is to talk about my family's life and my family's life does not revolve around the Down syndrome it is just a small part of it.

Instead I just wanted to come on here and mention that this extra little chromosome scared the crap out of me almost a year ago, but as much as is scared me, it helped show me that I am a stronger person than I ever gave myself credit for. If I ever imagined that I might have had a child with a differing ability I would have told you that I couldn't do it. I would have said no way, no thanks, nope, not doing it, I couldn't handle it, but I can, and I am.

So thanks Down syndrome for pushing me down and making me cry 11 months ago.

I just want to let you know that after some tears I got right back up, smacked the dirt off my knees, flipped you the bird and discovered that I am strong!

and positive!

and awesome! haha!

and proudly sporting a yellow and blue Ds awareness bracelet hoping someone, anyone will ask me what it's for!

(nothing like a little self back patting to put a smile on my face!)

So happy belated (but not intentionally forgotten) World Down syndrome awareness day!

Ola was too busy jumping in the jolly jumper to take part in this picture.

choppy choppy

2011-03-17T15:38:00.000-07:00

After my chance meeting a couple of weeks ago I decided that I needed a change. I realized that I was feeling a little bit blue, and I thought that maybe a hair cut would make me feel better. Those of you that know me, know that I am not a vain woman, however I LOVE my long hair. I had it so so short for so many years that I don't want to lose a centimetre of it! So I knew I wouldn't be chopping it off, but I needed a change.

I see women all the time and I think I love their hair! and then realize as soon as I get home that there is no way I could describe what I wanted that hair to look like. I try to find pictures online through google images mostly, but what do you type in? Cute long dark brown hair with wispy bangs, but not rockabilly chopped, and not too brown that it's black, but pretty dark cause I don't like my "mousey" brown? umm that doesn't work so well.

So I find a few hair blogs. These are good, but the problem is that most of the photos are of models, not of actual women who did their own hair that day. I want real woman hair, and I want hair that might actually look decent quickly flung up in a pony tail while I try to stay put together enough to make it across the parking lot in the blowing rain while I run to a playgroup or something. Geez is this too much to ask?

So I finally make the bold decision I am going to cut bangs. Bangs are the answer! I wish all of my life decisions were so easy. Oh yeah, and add some color, but not too much crazy color, you still want to look like yourself. Secretly I am still dying too add one dark indigo streak to make up for my 16 year old self that wasn't allowed to.

So I scrape up every penny I can and I make the appointment. I try to stumble my way through the description to my hairdresser. Ok... so I want my hair to be dark brown, dark dark brown, yummy dark chocolate brown, all of it, the whole head, and I want bangs, but not CHOPPED just wispy, like they have grown out for a couple of months, and I want them to be a little longer on the sides so the pieces fall out, and I want them to look good when my hair is all pulled back, but I don't want to look like I am trying to hard to be cool, I want it to look cute, but not too cute... ok?.....

"Ok, I got it."

"Really? that made sense?"

"Yup"

"Awesome!"

So the color was first...

So cute, I know.

Then the chop...

even cuter right?

So I think I accomplished what I wanted, well I didn't, Alex did.

I went home and played with it, and I think I can rock out the bangs, for a little while anyways.

Just until they start poking me in the eye, and then their getting the pin.

Thanks Alex! I am really liking the cut! I got another compliment on it today and it was awesome considering it came from another stylist.

Check out Michaud's website

eyes think the pink eyes got me.....

2011-03-15T23:50:00.000-07:00

I know it's so gross to post a picture of us looking like this...

But it's true, something is having a party in my eye ball and I am pretty sure this little one in the polka dots gave it to me. I am self diagnosing the pink eye but I will be getting this confirmed tomorrow at the doctors office.

Poor Ola has been down and out for heading on three weeks now, just a cold but is so darn persistent and now all 4 of us have snagged it. She is on the road to recovery, thankfully.

I need to get better, don't these bugs know I have a lot of stuff to do!

**EDIT! So the doctor never said "pink eye" but I did get some drops. He said not to worry about passing it on. Ola is doing way better today, of course the day I decide to take her to the doctor right! We hope to see everyone at the Ds pizza night tomorrow!

my heart is beating like a jungle drum

2011-03-15T19:31:00.000-07:00

We have been stuck in the house sick for heading on three weeks now...

What else is there to do besides post videos?

Laundry? blech.

Visiting Iceland is now on my unofficial bucket list.

Just shoot me now....

2011-03-07T13:45:00.000-08:00

Mark and I headed in Vancouver on the weekend to go to Pacific Center Mall. We had one destination... the Apple store. Mark and I are not shoppers especially at HUGE malls like Pacific center. I am sure it was comical watching us attempt to make our way to the mall, we had no idea where we were going, or how to get in, and it was busy making it really hard to navigate our monster stroller down the crowded sidewalks.

We eventually just decided to go into Sears and make our way from there, then we couldn't find the mall entrance so we had to ask a makeup counter girl for directions. Luckily the elevators were right there and we didn't have to search for them.

We get into the mall, and immediately I feel OUT of place. We were surrounded by pretty people. Suddenly I am realizing that I didn't have time to take a shower that morning, I barely put on mascara and my hair is pulled back mom style, just keep it out of my face and out of Ola's reach. We make it to the Apple store and honestly I just want to keep my eyes down, no one look at me, no one talk to me.

The Apple store is always packed and there was no way I was navigating the stroller through that mess, I hovered around the ipads for a few minutes because they are at the front of the store and I make sure to put the blog on all of the front pages ( I am so smart, I know!) When I walked back to the front of the store I noticed another mother trying to navigate her way back out of the store with her stroller. I kept looking and quickly realized that I was staring at a local celebrity. I wanted to say hi, as we have chatted on Facebook so I waited for her to make eye contact and it went from there. I told her she was brave attempting to make it in, and quickly re-introduced myself. She remembered me right away, and said hi to Ola (Poppy was at Nana's) and we stood there and chatted about runny noses, pneumonia, grandparents and how busy life gets.

I really enjoyed our chat, and as she walked away I thought.. Oh my GAWD. I just met her and I look like this! (quickly checking for snot trails on my shoulder) UGH! I look like I am straight of the farm!(Well not quite, but still...) Just shoot me now.

I looked down.

Tan hoodie
Worn in jeans rolled up (like a pirate Mark says)
Black converse high tops (of course)
and a quick check of the plain face (ugh.. you could have at least put on your glasses, those help)
and the hair...

Stacey London would not be impressed right now I thought. You should always dress like you are going out to meet someone important, because you never know... and she was right damn it.

Hopefully she won't hold her first visual impression of me against me. I am not giving up my converse for anyone.

And although she said she was tired she's the one who walked away with a Loius Vuitton bag on her shoulder.

Enough said.

I did not look like this unfortunately, which I think is a better representation of what I look like.

Have you met Persistence? She's my BFF!

2011-03-05T00:40:00.000-08:00

Recently when out IDP consultant Katie came over for a visit we needed to get information ready for Ola's progress report.

I have to admit I was dreading it.

I told her that I was really not looking forward to it, as I have read some not so nice tales from parents in the states. They said that the progress reports focused only on the things that their children hadn't accomplished yet, their pitfalls, not their triumphs. I was scared of all of the things that she can't do, I didn't want to admit them. I didn't want it down on paper that my 10 month old still can't sit by herself. I didn't want that to be on paper forever.

It was nice to have Katie (and Ashlee) assure me that there would be no negative comments, no failures only triumphs! YAY! I think Ola has accomplished a lot in her short 10 months.

I have to admit I had a hard time coming up with things that Ola was good at when asked directly. I felt so bad, why couldn't I think of them? Why was it so hard? I have no idea, and after Katie left of course I instantly thought of 10 things that she could have written down. We did come up with a list of her strengths though:

Has great eye contact
Socially alert
Physically strong
Closed mouth at rest
Babbles and blows Raspberries constantly

I then had to come up with a few things that I wanted to work on. This was easy, I knew right away:

Work on getting her to sit unassisted by her 1st birthday
Work on hand to mouth and self feeding

After our visit with Ashlee our IDP practicum student this week I decided that I would try a baby Mum Mum cracker... The following happened...

She put it in her mouth and ate it! The whole thing, by herself, over and over!

I knew that this journey was going to try me. I knew that it was going to be a challenge, and it was hard to imagine Ola eating something by herself. But the challenge was so worth it just to see that cracker make it to her mouth.

I also realize now that her not sitting bey herself right now won't matter in the slightest when she's walking in a year or two!

PERSISTENCE BABY! She's my new BFF! I am putting her on speed dial and I am going to call on her anytime I need a little push to keep trying.

Just keep trying.

It'll happen...

I promise!

"Mom do you still have a big belly?"

2011-02-25T15:50:00.000-08:00

A conversation has come up a few times in the last few months. Sometimes I discuss it by myself while the girls are napping and I am doing dishes. Sometimes Mark and I talk about it before we are falling asleep at night.

I have always wanted to have 4 kids (well after I got over the I am never having kids stage of my life.) I grew up with lots of cousins, and aunts and uncles and big family reunions by the lake. I always had friends that wondered why I couldn't hang out on the weekend while I had family in town. There was no way I was going to miss anything while they were visiting.

I loved those times.

So the questions is... Do I want to have more kids?

Truth is I do. Well... I think I do. Sometimes...

I bounce back and forth, back and forth on the subject. there are pros and cons on both sides. Mainly on the negative is the fact that my house is 900 square feet and it's packed with the four of us. Another is that I have a husband that isn't that domestic, and by domestic I mean doesn't change diapers. I think he has changed 4 in his whole life, and no I am not exaggerating, in fact I think I might be giving him a free one. I would need backup, major backup on parenting three kids and I just don't have it. Well I do, but... oh never mind.

Anyway I digress...

Of course the fact that Ola has Down syndrome also crosses my mind. The thought of having another child with Ds scares that crap out of me. I am not going to lie. We would have genetic blood work done if getting pregnant was actually going to happen, but for right now I am way to lazy to go get blood work done.

The main 2 pro's on my list always stays the same.

1) So Ola will have a bigger family to love her up all day long

2) So Poppy will have siblings to help her help Ola.

I know that to some people #2 might seem really stupid and sometimes when I say it out loud I feel like a jerk for saying it. Parents whose children have Ds have no idea how much it will affect their kids. Not knowing how much help Ola will need when she is an adult makes me both optimistic and scared shitless. And since we are honest over here, lets just put it out on the table that I feel horrible that Poppy may have to step in one day as Ola's caregiver when I get old and god forbid die.

Hence that have more babies so Poppy will have help to help Ola. Ugh... typing it again make me feel even more stupid.

We all hope that our kids will grow up, live long and prosper, and become contributing members to society. But we also know that the dead beats in our world came from somewhere, and they have mothers that might have been thinking the same thing I am thinking right now.

I decided to take it to Poppy. Well she brought it to me and then I ran with it. We have really good conversations in the car.

"Mom do you still have a big belly?"

" Umm yeah..." ugh... reminder to self... do more of the 30 day shredd.

"Why?"

"Why do I have a big belly? umm because I like to eat ice cream and because I had two babies?" yeah babies...that's the reason :)

"Oh..." she looks concerned that I brought up babies.

"There isn't any babies in my tummy right now though."

"Oh good!"

"What! Poppy wouldn't you like another baby sister?"

"NO!"

"Oh... what about a baby brother?"

"NO!!! No more babies!"

"Really? I thought you would like another sister or brother..."

"Nope. I have Ola.... (wait for it....) I have Ola and she is perfect."

Just like that.

She said it.

And that moment was perfect, and I cried. But what else is new. She always makes me cry.

In that moment I knew that she isn't going to care if she has to help Ola out. Ola is her sister and she loves her.

and really, that's all that matters.

from apple Fritters to sweet Basil

2011-02-19T18:55:00.000-08:00

I knew after Fritter passed away that I wanted to get another dog. I wasn't trying to replace him, I just wanted to fill the hole in our home. It was weird and so quiet with only Twiggy calling the shots. Everyone thought it was too soon, and maybe it was, but Fritter isn't coming back and we had a space to help another dog.

And I am an adult and I can do what I want, and my Mom told me when I was little that I could have as many animals as I wanted. (Hi mom!) Ha Ha!

I wanted to adopt a dog because that is what we did with Fritter, and really who wants to deal with puppy stuff? Not me.

I found a dog that was almost a spitting image of Fritter in Washington state, and I was willing to drive there to go get her, but she was adopted the day after I saw her picture on Petfinder. Apparently she had a lot of people interested in her, so I am sure she was placed in a good home. I thought I would look on Kijji to see if anything there looked promising. I saw a few pups (I know I just said that I wouldn't but....) and then pages and pages in, I saw him...

Oh my! I was ecstatic. Mark had no choice in this decision, I told him I was getting this dog! He met all the requirements I had.

Cute (check)
Good with kids (check)
Good with dogs (check)
Good with cats (check)
Email sent (check!)

I got an email back saying that someone was coming to look at him, and I asked her if I could do anything to meet him first. (insert crazy lady email here)

I figured there was no way she was getting back to me. But she did! The next day. The people were a no show and he was mine if I was still interested.

I dropped the girls off early the next morning (Thanks Auntie Bev) and caught the ferry and met them there. I warned them ahead of time that I only had about 10 minutes turn around time to get right back on the same ferry back to the mainland, and it was a fast meeting. 3 minutes tops.

"Hi"
"Hi"
"He's so cute!, and so soft!"
"Nice to meet you..."
"Ya Ya, gotta go, give me the dog, BYE!" (Running with a ferry employee)

It didn't quite go like that, but it was fast, and I felt bad. I would have been really upset if someone took my dog that fast and left.

Oh Well...

He's Mine, all MINE!!!

and I love him.

Maybe not as much as Poppy, but close.

make me rich

2011-02-18T23:24:00.000-08:00

I was driving the girls the other day and Poppy says out of no where "Mommy I want what Ola has."

I adjusted the rearview mirror so I could see what was going on in the backseat, thinking Poppy wanted one of Ola's toys.

"What do you want? Ola doesn't have anything...."

"Yeah Mama, Ola has something, Down system. The buddy walk. Ice skating. Down system..."

"Down syndrome? Poppy are you saying you want to have Down syndrome just like your sister?"

"Yeah..."

"Why?"

"Cause it's fun..."

"It is?"

"Yeah she has Buddy Walk, skating... lots of friends... Girl that brings new toys. It fun Mama..."

"Oh..." (insert awkward stare in the rearview, a tear and a a flurry of what do I say here.)

"Um... I don't think that you really want Ds.."

"No Mama I do!"

ok...hmm what am I going to say?... what to say...

"Well Poppy I bet if you ask Ola if she could be just like you she would say yes..."

"why?..." (seriously kid... you are killing me right now... don't let her see the tears, don't choke.)

"I think that Ola would want to be just like her big sister, she wouldn't want Ds. Poppy?... You can't have Ds... and you know what? You are lucky that you don't and that you are a big sister to a little girl that does."

"Why?"

"Because you get to help her whenever she needs it, and you get to be a helper and a best buddy to all her friends too."

"I do?"

"Yup, her friends are your friends. Her Buddy walk is your Buddy Walk too."

(Did it work?...)

"I get to help them? I get to be their friends?"

"Yup"

"Ok"

"Ok..." (wipe the tear, and take a breath. Phew... That was a tough one.)

Poppy is doing some major heart string pulling right now, and it is killing me. How do you talk about Down syndrome to a three year old?

How do you say that your child with Ds is "special" when your "typical" child is just as special? How do you tell them that they are going to grow up to be more compassionate, and more understanding of people with differing abilities because they have grown up immersed in it?

I remember thinking when Ola was first diagnosed about how her Ds would affect Poppy. It made me really sad. I instantly worried that opportunities were going to be taken away from her because of her sister. Ten months in and I think the exact opposite is happening.

She is being given more opportunities than her friends. She is learning at three what it means to be different, to be compassionate, patient, and to be proud of who you are. Let your freak flag fly baby!

I am not going to lie and say that if there was some way I could turn back time and take the Ds away I wouldn't.

I would.

In a heartbeat.

But since we can't turn back time, we improvise. We come up with answers as we are driving down the street and we begin to see things differently. What I once worried was going to steal things away from her, I now know that it is only making her richer.

And I can't wait to see how rich she becomes. :)

Poor Ola... she can't do anything about her camera hog of a sister.

Not your average chair

2011-02-08T14:27:00.000-08:00

Having a child with a differing ability makes you think differently about child development.

I have to do things a little different with Ola. Normal things, things I took for granted with Poppy. I have to specifically choose her bottles, the nipples for that matter. I have to specifically choose the spoons, the cereal, and the juice. The things I choose for Ola usually are not the things on sale at the store. They are chosen with thought, purpose and with the thinking of "How can this help her? How will this make it easier? How will it teacher her?"

When Ola was 5 months old I decided that I was going to start introducing rice cereal just as I had with Poppy. I tried once, not much luck. I waited a month and tried again with a bit for enthusiasm. Ola ended up in the hospital and eating cereal became the last thing on my mind. In December we started up again.

Feeding a child with Down syndrome is tricky... and frustrating for all parties involved. Because of their smaller palates, their tongues seem larger and tend to thrust everything out with vigour. It's a natural response for them and it can make you want to rip your hair out!

You are "supposed" to use a more "shovel" like spoon, and don't forget that you are never supposed to lift the spoon to remove only pull it out straight! Man... feeding couldn't be more complicated. Luckily for me Ola doesn't seem to have any texture issues that are said to be common.

We originally started feeding her in her Bumbo on the table, however once she could pop herself out it wasn't safe. I dragged out our high chair and quickly realized that I would be making some modifications. I laughed the first time I saw her in it. It was ridiculously huge, she was drowning in it.

I did the best I could every time we needed it. Stacked two phone books on the seat, tightened the straps to the smallest size, and rolled up two receiving blankets to stuff on either side of her hips and torso to minimize slumping. Even with all the modifications she still couldn't reach up on to the tray and forget about the footrest. It was 4 inches too low.

After a conversation with out IDP I had an AHA! moment and decided to go scouring the internet looking for high chairs suited to children with special needs. I don't know why it hadn't crossed my mind earlier, why would her high chair needs be any different than her spoon needs? :)

One chair came up over and over....

The Stokke Tripp Trapp.

Photo courtesy of Stooke.com

Mark and I had really admired this highchair after we saw a friends older child still using theirs. We tried to convince them to let us have it, but they wanted to keep it! Stokke takes pride in the fact that a child can really grow in this chair. It can be used right until adulthood because of the adjustability.

Photo courtesy of Stokke.com

I knew Ola needed to have this chair because of how much she would benefit from it. Getting this chair was really exciting. I ordered it right from Stokke and it was like Christmas when it was delivered. I didn't wait for Mark to get home, I dove right in and was pleasantly surprised that I had it assembled in less than 10 minutes! (probably doable in 5, but I kept getting interrupted!) The design is simple and straightforward and with only 10 allan key bolts used for assembly there is no guessing as to where they have to go.

The ability to adjust the chair to fit any child is a huge selling point to me. After seeing Ola's little feet dangle from her other chair I knew that having her feet firmly planted would not only benefit her posture, but also eliminate the constant fidgeting which I saw as a distraction from the task at hand. I was also able to adjust the harness to fit her. It adjusts at all points allowing you to tighten it right up if you need to, or let it out in one or all positions. We also ordered the Baby Set which is an added higher slightly curved back rest and rail support. In Ola's case I have a feeling that we will be using this additional set for extra support for quite some time until she is fully mobile and strong.

{ a shot of the cute cat harness and Baby Set extra backrest and rail support}

The other thing that I love about this chair is the ability for her to be pulled right to the table for meal times. The Tripp Trapp doesn't come with a tray for this reason. The chairs highest position is a perfect height for Ola to be at the table. She is almost perfectly level with the table top. Within a day of having our chair I noticed a huge difference in Ola's behaviour at the table. She was more excited, banging her hands and toys. She interacted with us, babbled, smiled and seemed genuinely interested in the fact that we were eating.

{ pulled right to the table and loving every minute of it! }

Ola spends every meal time with us at the table now, not off to the side in her other chair. And after having the chair for about two weeks now I can tell how much more engaged she is. She isn't wasting her time or energy constantly adjusting her position or slumping over. She can reach so far on to the table and she is grabbing at everything (something I was trying desperately to get her to do only a short time ago.) Because the Tripp Trapp doesn't have a high overpowering back on it, she is now able to turn her head at different noises in the kitchen and I notice her turning to hear voices and conversations.

Her old chair allowed her to lounge, and slouch like she was in an old comfy chair. This chair encourages her to sit up straight using her core muscles, something she needs to master in order to sit up by herself.

To see her sit in this highchair makes me smile. I really enjoy looking at our bright green, stylish, and modern highchair but those are just an added bonus to the fact that Ola is enjoying her mealtimes and actually eating!

The Stokke Tripp Trapp is an investment, but for our family it was a great one!

I can't put it any better myself! (taken from the Stokke website)

"At Stokke®, we are committed to putting children first. Our products are designed and constructed specifically to encourage child development and to strengthen the bonds between parents and children in those crucial early weeks, months and years. We believe it is in a child’s best interests to be as close as possible to his or her parents, and to be placed in an environment of genuine safety and security, free to learn and to grow. Our products are innovative, sustainable and childcentred, providing smart solutions for your baby’s needs and fitting easily into your home and life. Stokke® products are designed to grow with your child. We believe that children and parents should grow together and that we can help with every part of you and your child’s day, from eating and sleeping to playing and learning and strolling around town - always close, always together, always growing, always Stokke®."

Apple Fritters

2011-01-09T22:59:00.000-08:00

Fritter 2002- 2011

A few days ago I lost my best canine friend Fritter.

Fritter was my first dog as an adult. I always had dogs growing up, but he was mine. (and Marks)

As soon as Mark and I moved in together I wanted a dog and chickens. We had adopted a 13 year old cat, but I wanted a dog. Badly. We agreed that after we got married we would start looking for a dog. A week after we got married we went to Thunder Bay ON for Marks' cousins wedding. I had been volunteering at our local SPCA for quite some time and I wanted to see what their shelters looked like compared to ours. Mark and I really didn't have much to do in Ontario so we decided to go to their local shelter to kill some time. Plus maybe we would see a dog we really liked.

We went in looking for a puppy, and the staff lead us past some cages right past this wiry, crazy eye browed and bearded dog to a little black Newfoundland pup. I know I wanted a pup, but I didn't want a huge dog so we said thanks, and walked back past Mr. crazy hair and he literally did a cartwheel! We stopped to look at him and he did a few more. Huh. He's cute I thought. But, a puppy, we wanted a puppy.

Mark and I left and drove around some more. Out of the blue Mark asked me what I thought of the crazy cartwheeling dog. I thought he was really cute. So did he. We went back and we were done for.

We took him outside where he didn't even care to meet us and we knew he was the dog for us.

I called WestJet to see if he could come home with us, and Mark called his aunt to see if he could stay at her house.

We explained that we were from out of town and the staff assured us that he had been in the shelter way too long (3 months) and they didn't care if we were from BC. The lady actually said she was glad that he would get a fresh start. His name was Eddie. He lived with a homeless lady and her cat. He had been taken away from her because they had become a nuisance to people. Another lady had adopted him and named him Buddy. One day while out for a walk they bumped into said homeless lady and she wanted him back. For some reason she gave him back to her. He ended up back at the shelter again after pestering customers at a donut shop. Cue the crazy couple from BC!

We found out all of this info after we paid for him and then were told that we couldn't adopt him because they found a microchip that they never noticed before. They had to contact his previous owner first. The lady behind the counter decided to pretend there was no chip and she let us go with him. She figured he just needed to get of Thunder Bay!

We drove right past the Robin's donuts where he had been picked up and they had a sign out front advertising a special they were having on apple fritters. We knew that had to be his name. Fritter.

He was an awesome dog, laid back, goofy, and loved everyone! I couldn't have asked for a better pet. A super dog right from the get go! (well after we convinced him to eat dog food!)

Fritter started getting sick about 3 years ago, and stumped all the vets and specialists that he saw. We pumped him up on steroids, and he improved, then deteriorated, improved, and then over the holidays just didn't seem to have it in him anymore. We talked to our vet and decided that it was time to let him go.

Fritter passed peacefully in our home, where he belonged.

I miss him.

Kickin' it at the cabin

Making a sick little girl feel better

Dropping the ball on the New Year

2011-01-08T22:58:00.000-08:00

I had planned on making a big post ushering out 2010 and welcoming 2011 with open arms.

I started and then my darling hubby complained that his computer game wasn't loading properly from my uploading photos. I was too tired to argue, so I deleted it.

Anyone else out there have a hubby that is stuck in the 14 year old boy phase of loving video games? anyone? Please tell me I am not alone :)

We had a quiet New Years, it's too hard to do crazy ring in the new year type things when you have two little ones that need to be in bed at 7:30. I would rather have them home and in bed on time than out partying until the wee hours.

I am so old.

The one thing that I do love about New Years is that it means that my birthday is officially only one month away! ~~I am turning 33 this year!~~ *** EDIT! I just got a call from my Mom. Apparently I am only going to be 32! HA! I gained a year! I told her I can't do math! This is going to be a good year. I am determined to make it so. I have said over and over to everyone that will listen to me that 2010 bit the big one, but really I think that I was making mountains out of mole hills. Mark and I had our toughest year ever. We are lovers not fighters, but 2010 was a hard one. I have never felt so out of tune with him, and with our whole relationship. Everything he did pissed me off, I had felt angry for months, and I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was exactly, but have since come to realize that it was a bunch of little things that were getting to me. I won't bore you with the details, but what I will say is that sometimes difficult conversation need to be had, tears need to be shed and in the end you feel better. Well, maybe not right away but good things can come from hard topic conversations. It was a hard year financially, but it was for a lot of people. And somehow amidst this we managed to buy our house.

Really when I think about it we had a really good year. Ola was born, We made some new friends, bought our house, saw Poppy off to pre-school for the first time, celebrated birthdays, anniversaries, holidays with the ones we love, had our first trick or treating fun, and a babies first Christmas!

I made some new years resolutions, however after seeing a video about sharing New Years resolutions I decided not to share any of them. The speaker talked about how after you share your resolutions you are not as likely to keep them. I want to make mine happen so I am keeping them to myself. I wrote them down on my 2011 bucket list, put it in a drawer and closed it. I think I have 14 things on it right now, I might add some more, I might not.

I will share my accomplishments when I cross them off, but until then you will have to wait.

I am wishing you a very happy New Year, let it be a great one!

Doll Winner

2011-01-01T23:25:00.000-08:00

The doll winner is.... drumroll!!!

Holly W with the comment "okay...I'm so with you...Baby Alive creeps me out...like I don't change enough diapers now there's a doll I have to worry about? No way!
And pick me pick me!!! My Hope would love a doll!"

Congrats Holly W! Send me a email at pootandboogie@hotmail.com with your email address and I will send you the information for choosing a custom doll.

update on the plastic doll situation

2010-12-27T21:36:00.000-08:00

Ok, so Santa got the reaction I was hoping my nightgown would get...

However I am both pleased and annoyed to report that the doll was fed and changed and then left naked on the floor for the last two days.

I don't think that she was impressed with the bottle, it's too hard for her to "plug" in and secondly that there is no poop.

Oh well... on to the next.

merry christmas

2010-12-26T16:40:00.000-08:00

Merry plastic Christmas

2010-12-12T23:01:00.000-08:00

Ok so I have been hesitating to write this post...

Why? you ask...

It's my 200th post!

I wanted to do something spectacular! Something to WOW you! Something! Anything!

but... you are just getting a regular post. sorry...

Christmas preparations are being made, Santa has received his laundry list of items from Poppy. I have tried to grab as much as I could, however she changes her mind daily on what Santa should be bringing her. I have resorted to telling her that Santa merely uses her list as a guide and picks the best gift for her, which might be on her list or it might not be.

Lucky kid I think she's getting it all. But let me be a little more specific.

She is getting 4 gifts, one of which is a nightgown. She is also getting... ugh... a Baby Alive. Do you know what this doll is? It "poops" and "pees." You are supposed to buy it "food." You are supposed to buy it disposable doll diapers. Buying this doll went against so many things that I believe in. I literally went to the store 4 times. I picked up the doll. I read the package over and over. I tested it by pushing the button to make it "cry." I seriously took the doll sat down on the floor in the doll aisle and stared at this over priced, over packaged, overly creepy plastic doll. As a mom who makes dolls (just in case you didn't know) I know that this doll will have it's day of excitement, Poppy will "feed" it, and let it "drink" it's packaged "juice" and change the one diaper it comes with. Then I am going to break my child's heart and hand her the cloth diapers that I am going to sew her baby, and then I will show her that her doll is only allowed to eat and drink water. I am so mean, I know.... but seriously. A doll that poops and pees? Give me a break.

Poor baby alive...she is destined for the floor, possible a lovely dark corner under the bed. Don't worry, she will have dust bunnies to keep her company.

I just imagined a Toy Story type nightmare. This Baby alive is going to come alive in the night and plan an attack on me.

I dare her.

My Poot & Boogie girls will kick her ass. My girls are old fashioned. They don't mess around.

So in honor of all things that are old fashioned and awesome I am giving away a custom Poot & Boogie doll!

Yup! Gotcha! Told you I was going to do something fun!

So you comment here...

I am going to go Tweet about it. I never tweet... ever... seriously.

Then I am thinking I might make a Facebook page.

I will let you all get your comments in and I will do a draw on January 1st. Let's start out 2011 with some giveaways!

YAY CLOTH! BOO PLASTIC!

old lady? nice...

2010-11-23T21:40:00.000-08:00

I got called an old lady twice the other day.

Once by my darling hubby...

and then a half hour later by Poppy.

She didn't call me an old lady, she called me a granny.

She wasn't anywhere near Mark which made me think, is there something I am missing here?

I told her that she should call me a yummy mummy.

She said no.

"I can't call you a yummy mummy, mumma. We don't eat mummy's!"

ahh I love that kid.

ummm cakepops?

2010-11-20T22:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I saw these cute little Cake Pops over at Bakerella's blog a while ago and kept it in my little "to do" file in my brain. She had me at cake on a stick :)

Now being fair I didn't have an exact recipe. I eyeballed it from the video and tried it. I didn't want to do anything fancy, I am thrifty so wasting ingredients is BAD!

I decided to show you first hand my opinion of said balls :)

So... final verdict.

They were ok.

I am going to try another batch, and I would change a few things.
1. Use white cake
2. Don't use Cream Cheese frosting out of a can
3. Don't use a whole can of frosting in a can (it was too squishy)
4. Keep my candy coating chocolate a little warmer to get a thinner covering
5. Make them smaller
6. Not show you a picture of me eating a cake pop

These have potential, I can see a styrofoam tray filled with barnyard animals at a birthday party. I think kids would get a hoot out of these, but right now I am going to go lay down. One of these bad boys was enough for me.

Monkey see...

2010-11-19T18:22:00.000-08:00

Ok so I realized the other day that Poppy may possibly be copying me.

Duh right?.. Monkey see, Monkey do.

It wasn't until Poppy decided she was going to cover up my ouchies that I realized how many visible ouchies I actually had.

I bite my nails.

There I said it.

I bite my nails, Mark hates it, and now I think that Poppy might me coping me, and this breaks my heart.

You wanna know the stupider part of the whole thing is that I LOVE nail polish! I hoard it... I buy it, and I can't use it because my nails are so short and sore.

I have been reading all about this Fabulous new nail polish called Essie, and when went to search for it I thought I would have to order it online, so I didn't pursue it.

Last night while I was at my local drug store filling a prescription Poppy and I went to look at nail poilish and there it was! Not the best selection, but... Now being the nail polish aficionado that I am I was stoked! (Does anyone say that anymore!?) until I saw the price... $11 ouch. Now I might like nail polish, but I don't have nails so I really don't like to pay more than $5. However the cosmetic lady was there and she must have heard my jaw hit the floor. She pointed me to the sale bin. I was like "lady! this is a new super cool product! There is NO WAY that this stuff is one sale!" but it WAS!!!

I couldn't help myself... it was $7, I bought three.

Little Brown Dress

Sew Psyched

Merino Cool

For some reason I am especially excited about the Sew Psyched. I plan on putting this on my little stubbs tonight. ~~I will give a full report on it's quality later tonight!~~ So far so good! No chips, it did require two coats, but it's holding strong!

Hopefully this will finally inspire me to stop biting, and in that show Poppy that it's not such a great idea.

Halloween

2010-11-06T11:25:00.000-07:00

I love Halloween, but it makes me sad that we live in an area that doesn't do trick or treating. I don't blame the kids, I don't even think I would venture down most driveways in our area. Wow, that just made it sound like we live in Shadyville, we don't, we live in a more rural area, where people have big yards, big driveways, and big farm dogs.

We are guessing it weighed at least 200 lbs.

We went to my Parents place this year for trick or treating. That's nothing new, we always go there. My Mom makes a big dinner, I carve lots of pumpkins to add to hers, and we head out. This was Poppy's first real year of trick or treating. I think she just knocked on my Mom's door last year.

Ours all ready to go, the boobie pumpkin is the most bottom one, I carved one to look scared and one to look scary!

She was surprisingly independent and not afraid this year. I was anticipating her not wanting to talk to people but once she realized the whole concept of lots of free candy she was golden! A few people even gave us treats because we were dressed up too! Bonus!

For our costumes we came up with our own super heros. We called ourselves the Tongue Power Girls! now you are probably thinking what the heck, but let me explain. It is a long running joke in my family about my brother and I. You know when you are trying to do something really tricky... like opening a jar of pickles, or trying to complete a level in a video game, and you stick your tongue out just a little bit like it gives you a little extra power and determination? And them magically the jar opens, and Mario makes the big jump! That's TONGUE POWER!!! Plus as an extra added bonus Ola fit right in with her little tongue, and then Poppy started copying Ola and Whammo TONGUE POWER GIRLS!

Family Portrait with Auntie B

See what I mean!

Now Mark wanted to have nothing to do with this, so Poppy told him he needed to be a black cat, and he obliged :)

Meee owww! Mr. Maks!

My brother didn't really need his werewolf mask!

Mom was laughing I swear! she would be, she's dressed as the devil!

It was a fun night, and I already have a little somethin somethin up my sleeve for next year!

Not the weekend getaway I was hoping for

2010-11-05T07:30:00.000-07:00

Ok so I haven't been here in a while...

Let me catch you up...

You may remember me posting about my crazy busy week, and all of the appointments that we had... blah blah blah. That was Thursday night. By Friday night I was in an Infant Transport Team Ambulance with Ola on our way to BC Children's hospital.

I could draw this out, and I know when I would have a moment when all of this was happening I was thinking I need to blog about this or that, but I will just give you a shortened version.

On Friday afternoon (1pm) I was ready to give Ola a bottle so I wanted to change her diaper. Poppy came to the couch too, and there it was... a bloody, poopy diaper. Now when I say blood, I mean BLOOD! red, fresh, raw, bleeding, blood. Lots of it. Scary amounts of it. I panicked. I saw blood trickling, I saw a huge clot type thing poking out. I got a new diaper on, Mark called the pediatrician, I started crying, Poppy started crying and I flew out the door to the hospital with Ola an her bloody diaper.

I waited at the hospital emergency for what seemed like an eternity. I think it was really about an hour and a half, and I think we would have waited longer if it weren't for a ER doctor that noticed how pale Ola was looking. I told her what the situation was, and whammo, Ola was in just like that. I heard the triage nurse trying to cover her ass by saying Ola was fine when she saw her. Yada Yada. I told the doctor I told her she was bleeding. In high-insight I wish I would have whipped off her diaper to let her see, maybe that would have helped me convey what the hell was going on.

Long story short, they took blood 3 times, I changed her diaper three more times, she began to vomit horrid, putrid, smelly green nastiness, they put in a ng tube, (to drain her stomach, instead of her vomiting) when Mark was able to meet me at the hospital later he asked for us to be transferred to Children's after a nurse decided to do a rectal temperature on a child with a suspected rectal prolapse. Even after I told her not to do it.

At 11 pm the infant transport team came, we drove quickly with lights and sirens. Mark was so scared following us when they put the lights on. I had to use the ambulance phone to tell him to slow down.

When we got to children's the process started over. Quickly this time, there was finally some urgency in her care. While we were down in their ER, the protrusion showed itself and we went from not knowing what was going on, to thinking she had a rectal prolapse. The rectal prolapse didn't explain the vomiting though.

We were admitted, and the following morning she had an ultrasound which determined she had what is called Intussuseption. This basically means that the small and large intestine kind of telescope back on themselves. Ola had a severe case. Her small intestine completely folded over itself, pushed it's way all the way through her large intestine and out her rectum. It wasn't a prolapsed rectum I was seeing it was her small intestine.

They use an air enema guided by moving x-ray to correct this. As long as they don't perforate her bowel with the pressure, and it can be pushed all the way back surgery wasn't necessary. I won't even go into what it was like to be there with her while they pushed a tube up her bottom while she screamed and twisted. All in all we ended up doing this 4 times over the 5 days we were there. It couldn't be completely reversed the first try, so we waited 3 hours and went back. It worked, and then relapsed 8 hours later. The third try worked almost immediately and then 26 hours later we were back for the 4th try when symptoms came back. The fourth try didn't show any block, just inflammation.

Our poor little one was so exhausted she slept all night, and we were released the next day after she was back to her normal self. It was really hard to not see her smile for 4 days. as soon as she was smiling I knew she was feeling better.

I had to call the hospital that night after we got home. She started crying and got rigid, turns out she just had to fart really bad, but still. She had a tiny blood streak in a diaper about 5 days ago, but other than that she seems to be on the mend.

I have no idea how parents deal with their children being in the hospital for extended amounts of time. By the end Mark and I were starting to get snippy snappy, I felt gross for a lack of clean clothes and decent food, and I missed Poppy.

I appreciate what Children's did for us. I appreciate their sense of urgency, and I appreciate them letting us be part of her treatment and healing.

but, I meant it when I told the nurse that we hope to not meet again. :)

This week of mine

2010-10-21T23:04:00.000-07:00

Ok, so the Ds posts didn't happen all this week, it's ok I have an excuse...

This has been the busiest week for me in a long time.

Ola had 3 appointments, I had one, throw in a day at the pumpkin patch with 20 three year olds, picture day at school, a meeting, and you have me, sitting at my computer at 10:30pm still wearing my jacket...

I'm thinking it's time for bed.

Mark asked me what was on the calendar for tomorrow and I said "Nothing!" and I hope it stays that way. He wants to have a nothing day too so maybe we can figure something out.

All good things came from all of Ola's appointments this week, except that she shouldn't go in the jolly jumper. So no more fun for her. It's ok though, after listening to the Dr's reasoning I am cool with that. We don't need any neck/hip/back injuries here.

She needs to go have an ultrasound done on her... umm brain I guess. It's of her head, so I would imagine it's her brain. She is tending to favor her right side and we need to rule out anything going on with the right side of her brain which controls the left side. Confused yet? me too! It feels weird to day that she needs an ultrasound on her brain...

Pumpkin patch went well, we got a few pumpkins, one which is like a conjoined twin, Poppy calls it the boobie pumpkin which she happily gave me. Thanks dear...

Petting a turkey chick

Daddy shot (note Poppy is kissing Ola's hand, she is always doing this, it's my fault, I told her when Ola came home from the hospital that she was only allowed to kiss her hands and feet therefore sparing little Ola germs on her face, but now... she would rather be kissing Ola's hands than doing anything else)

Mommy shot

dragging a pumpkin

Picked one!

Ola is feeling under the weather, she slept most of the time

The end

I had a dentist appointment. Apparently I have TMJ. My jaw has hurt and ached for so long now, my dentist wants to shoot botox into my jaw muscle... I don't know about that yet. I am not a botoxie type girl :)

I am a member of the newly formed Fraser Valley Modern Quilt Guild, I went to my first meeting tonight. I had a really good time. I didn't sew, but I chatted and that was fun too! It was nice to meet some ladies that I feel like I know but I haven't met yet. Hi guys!

Ok so it's 11 now, and I gotta go to bed. Enjoy the rest of your week, I hope you get a nothing day too!

Gnome GIVEAWAY WINNER!!!

2010-10-17T13:35:00.000-07:00

I was busy making pies and remembered that I had to do a giveaway today!

We do things low tech around here, so here we go!

All of your names on post it's (good thing there was only four of you!)

Names in the trick or treat bag....

and the WINNER is!...

The WILSONS!!!!

Seriously, that was so EXCITING!

Ok, so The Wilsons need to email me at pootandboogie@hotmail.com with your address and the little gnome will be on his way!

and PS isn't my apron so UGLY :( eww... I need to make one!

Ds awareness day #16

2010-10-16T23:35:00.000-07:00

I am just realizing that I am missing a day.... how the heck? Well... It's ok, it's my blog I make the rules :)

So here we go... Our topic tonight is eating!

mmm... rice cereal

I posted early on that Ola and I didn't really have a very go go at breast feeding. We managed to do it for 2 weeks when Ola was about 11 weeks old. My milk quickly depleted without all the pumping I had been doing before that, and it was over. 13 weeks is a far cry from the 14 months I did with Poppy.

Kids with Ds are known to have a little bit bigger tongue and a smaller palate than "typical" (shutter...) kids. They also tend to be tongue thrusters, which makes it hard for them to get the hang of nursing and then eating solids.

I started introducing Ola to rice cereal about a month ago, it didn't go so well. Food everywhere, tons of tongue thrusting and a baby that just wanted her bottle. I waited another two weeks, tried again, waited some more and then decided that I needed to do it again. She turned 6 months yesterday, and I am proud to say that I think we have a rice cereal fan!

I know that this picture looks super messy, but this was 2 days ago, tonight was only one little smear on the bib!

I have a book on nutrition for Ds, and in the beginning chapters it says not to be disappointed in your child if in the beginning they push out 75% of what you put in. I am pretty sure the first night was close to that, but it seems to be good now.

I think our pediatrician's first advice to us was "you get out of a child with Ds what you put in." I think that statement is ringing true and I can't wait to tell him at her appointment this week how awesome she is doing!

Ds awareness day #14

2010-10-15T14:30:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like you have to tippy-toe around everyone, not wanting to rock the boat?

I have always been a tippy toe-er , and you know what I am tired of it. I always had the mentality of keep the peace, swallow your words and smile.

Sometimes I think people need to be told the truth. I think people need to know that things they say are obnoxious and annoying.

I think having a child with Down syndrome has put daggers in my mouth, and I will shout them at you if I need to. I think that I have become more defensive and protective in the process.

Part of me hates that, part of me likes that.

Ds Awareness day #13

2010-10-13T20:15:00.000-07:00

There is another marker for Ds that is visible as soon as the baby is born, it's called sandal toe. I am sure it has a fancier name, but for our purposes this will do.

and it looks like this...

These are Ola's toes about an hour after she was born, when we still had her with us in the room. I think my sister in law took this picture because right off the bat I though something looked a little bit different than I remember baby toes looking. Keep in mind that her little feet are very swollen in this picture, but on the left can you see the bigger space between the big toe and the second toe? That's sandal toe. Just a bigger space. Doesn't cause any harm, and I think again like everything else not all kids with Ds have this.

Honestly I think my toes look like this after a long hot summer of wearing flip flops. so that just brings home the fact that kids with Ds are more alike other kids than unlike.

Oh yeah.... Don't forget to leave a comment on day 11 for a chance to win a Poot & Boogie gnome stuffy!

Ds Awareness day #12

2010-10-12T23:21:00.000-07:00

I was trying to think of something to write about Ds tonight, and although I am not short of topics to talk about, I really just don't feel like talking about it tonight.

Since Ola has come along there isn't a day that I don't think about Ds in some way. At one point not that long ago I had 3 books about it in progress. I was trying to learn but in that I hit overload. It has become an obsession really, I think I thought I had to learn everything about it all at once. I want to have all the info in my head. I want it in there so I can reference it if I need to. I want to have that info so when something seems off I can call on the little librarian inside my head and get her to call up the chapter.

I want to seem educated when the pediatrician asks me a question.
I want to know what the warning signs for leukemia are.
I want to know what to look for if her heart is having trouble.
I want to know that a little squint could be nothing, or she could be having trouble seeing.
I want to know that she is hearing ok and that she is just totally ignoring me.
I want to know that it's "normal" for her to not be reaching out to grab toys.
I want to know that I am not the only one who is watching their child spit out 75% of the food I put in her.

I want to know that I am not crazy when I am noticing these things.

I want to go to bed and put these things out of my mind.

So tonight in not writing something about Ds, I kinda did.

Ds Awareness day #11 and a GIVEAWAY!!!!

2010-10-11T21:46:00.000-07:00

Since all of you have put up with my long stammering blog posts the past few days I am going to do something new!

A Giveaway!

I am going to giveaway one of my Poot & Boogie gnomes. I only have about 8 of these, and I have been holding on to them for a special occasion! These little guys are so cute, and are printed on both sides.

All you have to do is leave a comment on this post and you are entered!

I will do the old fashioned thing and draw names from a hat! You have until next Sunday morning to leave a comment and I will announce a winner after lunch! Then you just have to email me with your info and Whammo! you got yourself a cute little gnome stuffy!

Good Luck!

and just in case you are wondering what the heck this has to do with Down syndrome....

When I was coming out of my nitrous oxide haze after having Ola. I said "oh look...she looks like a little gnome!" what I meant to say was elf...but whatever... I was drugged!

So there you go, a little fun for Ds awareness!

Ds Awareness day #10 and Thanksgiving

2010-10-10T14:56:00.000-07:00

It is Thanksgiving this weekend in BC and I have a lot to be Thankful for this year.

I finished school, had a beautiful daughter, celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary, got my kitchen renovated!, had a first day of preschool to celebrate, and first swimming lessons, first smiles, first chatting noises, entered the why, mommy why stage of toddlerhood, and laughed and loved a lot!

My family and friends have been so awesome to me in the last 6 months and I don't think that they can ever be repaid for their help. The spring was a really rough patch around here and I am really glad that we have moved through summer and are heading in to fall which is my favourite season.

I went to church with Mark today and the priest was saying something along the lines of that in order for your thanks to mean something you have to direct it at certain people with an explanation as to why you are thanking them. You can't just throw out a general Thanks and expect people to know it was meant for them.

I know that I have a lot of people to Thank but for now, I am just going to write to the main people that I interact with on a daily basis.

Mom: I am seriously going to try not to cry right now. You have been such a huge help to me in the last few months that I have no idea what I would have done without you. You have listened to me cry, and complain, and feel sorry for myself. I appreciate every word that you said to me, and that you made me believe that I can do anything and that I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. You made me realize that I CAN do it. Thank You!

Dad: Thank You for always reminding about what Ola can do. You are always there reminding me how great she is doing and I Thank You!

Mark: I know you have no choice but to be here, and that sometimes it gets hard. Sometimes I get frazzled and freak out, but I need you to know that no matter what I love you and I need you here as part of the team. I appreciate all the things you do, and that you are willing to work so hard to support our family solely so that I can stay here with the girls. You have no idea what that means to me. I love you and Thank You!

Brad and Sarah: Thanks for being there and helping out when I need it. The last minute babysitting and hanging out with Poppy while I go to appointments and stuff are amazing. Thanks for humouring Poppy every time she sees you and taking her to see the ferrets, for playing store with her, reading to her, and taking her for walks. It means a lot to her! Thank You!

Cynthia: Ever since the call to you when Ola was born you have continually kept me going and reminding me to take everyday an hour at a time. I told you that you are my Mommy hero and you truly are. I admire your creativity and your drive to get things done! Thanks for texting with me everyday, it's weird day when I don't hear from you! Thank You!

Auntie B and Grandma Soks: Thanks for taking the girls every week for me so that I can have a few hours to myself, or to clean the chickens! The girls love being with you and I am so glad that they get to be with you as much as I did when I was growing up. Thank You!

I know lots more people need shout outs, but you will have to forgive me, I have to go get ready to eat some pie (oh and Turkey too!)

But before I go I need to say something about Ds. Did you know that kids with Ds sometimes only have one crease that runs across the palm of their hand. It's called a Simian crease. It occurs in the normal population but is very common in people with Ds, and it is a common characteristic that they look for when pre-determining Ds at birth. Ola doesn't have this, but lots of kids with Ds do.

Ds Awareness day #9

2010-10-10T00:17:00.000-07:00

You probably thought that I had forgotten about a post for today, but I didn't I was just busy.

Tomorrow is our Thanksgiving. I am making a pie for the first time in my life, crust and all, and we are also celebrating my Grandma's 84th birthday. I started a family tree quilt for her almost 3 years ago. I am so bad I know, but I didn't really know how to quilt and I thought that maybe this project might make me. I sat all day and sewed and I got it done. It's in the dryer right now shrinking up and getting wrinkly (just the way I like em!)

Anyways... I was putting off the post until I was done. I am done...

Right after Ola was born I remember thinking selfish things like...

I am going to be 85 and still have a child living at home with me...

I am going to be 85 and I will still have to support my daughter...

I am going to have a child at home with me for the rest of my life.

My Grandma was the reason why I was thinking these things. You see, my aunt still lives at home with my Grandma. My aunt has what I was always told was a "deviant form of Ds" I am not sure who came up with this as a diagnosis, it may have been my Grandma, it may have been my aunts doctors when she was a child, maybe it was just easier to describe it as something like Ds. I never really asked any questions and I was oblivious to what Ds was, and I never questioned it.

When our pediatrician came in to talk to Mark and I the morning after Ola was born he asked if either of us had any experiences with people with Ds. I told him about my aunt, and he accepted what I told him. I think having my aunt made me ok with the idea that Ola might have/has Ds.

My Grandma and my Aunt moved close to my parents 5 months after I was born. There were a few reasons why, they don't really matter, but I all I knew was that when I was growing up I was lucky to have my Grandma and my Aunt live just down the street from me. My Aunt was always our babysitter. We never had a neighbourhood teenager, or family friend. It was her...Always.

I remember her being smaller than the other adults, but she was bigger than me. I remember people looking at her, and being annoyed at that but it was little brother who stuck up for her when people made fun. I knew that she had a harder time reading than my teacher or my Mom, but she was better than me, and she could read me all the stories I was interested in.

Then when I started getting older, I got taller and my Aunt stayed the same. Suddenly I was bigger than her, stronger than her, and smarter than her. I always knew that she was different, but I think I finally realized it when I became more aware of what other people thought. Kids at school used to ask me questions and I avoided it. I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to be different.

My Aunt and I had a not so nice relationship when I was a teenager. I was trying to get away with things and she was tattling on me to my Mom. Even when I was old enough that I didn't need her, my brother did. I felt like I had become the bad guy and my brother could do no wrong. I knew that as long as she was around there was no way I was getting away with anything. She was watching me like a hawk and reporting my every move to my Mom. I hated her being around... I hated that she loved my brother more. She was around a lot. She just lived down the road and she would just come over to hang out, or to help my Mom or if Grandma was going away she would come to our place. Sometimes she would be there for weeks.

This all changed when I hit high school. I think she still liked my brother better, but she wasn't so bad. She helped me out if I needed her for anything, and once I gained my independence I saw her less. My family moved about 30 minutes away from them, and I think it really hit my aunt hard. She took the bus everywhere (when my Grandma was at work) and it was hard for her to get to us. When I got my drivers licence I could go get her and bring her over if she wanted or if my Mom asked me too.

Things changed even more once I was pregnant with Poppy. My aunt was so excited from me, she bought me little things here and there, and always asked how I was feeling and if I was doing Ok. I remember my Mom saying to me when I was closer to my due date that I should ask my Aunt to come out to my place to help me, just like she had dome for my Mom so many years ago. I was not into the idea. I could do everything by myself, I didn't need her.

I did need her, and she was there, just like she always has been and always will be. She became Poppy's number one babysitter, I could call her last minute and it was never a problem. If it wasn't for her willingness to put her life on hold to watch Poppy everyday while I went back to school I never could have. She moved out to my place in a heartbeat for a month when I got placed for my practicum out of town and needed someone to get up at the crack of dawn with Poppy and make sure she got her breakfast, and naps while I was gone all day. I was so exhausted for that month. I was over 25 weeks along with Ola and I needed her and Mark for everything.

She had a bad cold when Ola was born and she couldn't come out to the hospital to visit. I know it killed her and she was so upset. She kept going back to her doctors to get the Ok, but I wouldn't let her. There was no way that I could take a chance of Ola getting sick. She was so worried, and I know that it was 10 times worse because she couldn't see her.

I knew that I was going to have a hard time telling people about Ola's Ds, but I knew that telling her was going to be one of the harder ones. I really wanted her to know that Ola really was Ok, but that she did have Ds and that would be ok too. She took it well, but I think that she had a hard time. I think it was hard for her because she knew what it was like to be different. She knew what is was like to have people stare and make fun. She thought all of this was going to happen to Ola. I really didn't want her to feel this way, I wanted her to know that Ola would be just fine, but how do you say that to someone that knows first hand?

She has become Ola's biggest fan and I think that the two of them are going to have an amazing bond. She looks after both of my girls, just like she did my brother and I, and I can't imagine ever having anyone else do it. She quickly mastered the art of feeding Ola and can hit her burp spot right on. She will never understand how truly grateful I am that I have her. My family is not super "huggy" but I have made sure to hug her now, especially when she has just taken such great care of my girls.

I think that having my Aunt around all these years has helped me become a better more compassionate person, and having her be around my girls will help them be the same. I think someone or something had a plan for me. They gave me my Aunt so that I would be ready for my little Ola. They knew that I could handle it, they knew I would know what to do.

Even though my aunt doesn't really have Ds, she is a wonderful advocate. She is showing that people with Ds and other special needs can still be high functioning. I hope that every time someone sees her out with my girls that they realize that just because you might look a little bit different doesn't mean that you are incapable. My aunt is very capable, and special, but special because of who she is, not because of what she has.

I don't feel so sorry for my Grandma anymore, even though the times are different and I know that I am getting a lot more help with Ola than my Grandma would have ever known what to do with, but I think I can understand where she is coming from. I think that my Grandma and I have a lot of stuff in common, and now we have one more. I always looked up to her for her strength and tenacity, I always hoped to have an ounce of it, and now I know I do.

Now I know that Ola won't be living at home when I am an old 85 year old woman. I know that I will not have a child at home with me for the rest of my life, but I really do hope that she can make the time to come visit her old wrinkly parents.

Down Syndrome Awareness day #8

2010-10-08T16:31:00.000-07:00

Just a photo of Ola working on her Tummy time.

living a virtual life

2010-10-07T22:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I talk about other bloggers to my family like they are my friends. Like I have met them in person and I talk to them on a daily basis.

I read a select number of blogs.

There are my real life friends blogs. Even though I am their friends in real life some of them I don't get to see very often and I can catch up between phone calls and emails.

There are my Ds blogs. Most of these blogs are other Moms talking about their experiences with Ds. There are moms that have been at this for years and there are other Moms that are just starting out like me. I appreciate their words and I tend to learn something new, or see something that inspires me to tears. I love that we are all so different but all so the same.

There are my "crafty" blogs. Sometimes I just want to think crafty. I occasionally get the urge to get out all my crafty stuff and make something. I tend to sew the most. I guess just because of the dolls, and because the sewing machine always seems to be the handiest to access. Most of the time on my photo booth photos you can see it sitting behind me. I love the way people come up with things, and I feel like I used to be like that but now I feel like most of creative "juices" have be turned into other "juices" that fuel a different kind of brain power. I have pushed aside the creative side to come up with answers to my 3 year olds crazy questions, like yesterdays question of how do babies come out of Mommies tummies? What the H? she is three.

And then, there are other blogs that I lurk on.... I just wanna see into other peoples lives.

One time when I was talking about one of my blogging "friends" someone said to me "you sure live a virtual life." I thought it was a bit rude. Maybe I do talk about people sometimes like they are my friends, but don't you learn stuff from friends? I think that sometimes these "virtual" people have taught me more than some of the people that I have met in real life.

And besides... don't we all live a pretty virtual life? I am pretty sure just about everyone on the planet is on Facebook or twitter.

Down syndrome Awareness day #7

2010-10-07T16:19:00.000-07:00

Throwing out the Playbook

Something that I decided quite soon after Ola was born was that I need to throw out the playbook that I followed for Poppy. There were a few times that the playbook had somehow managed to get back into my hands, and it taunted me, tormented me and made me cry. The last time this happened, I tossed that sucker out of my mind as far as my brain could chuck it.

Ola is playing her own game here, no need to follow the plays that Poppy used to succeed. I have no need for that book, and don't even ask me when a "typical" child should _______. I have released that info from my head and I am not going to go look it up for you.

Now I know the approximate times a child should sit/stand/crawl/walk/growth teeth... but for kids with Ds this can be totally different... or not...

Confusing I know... tell me about it!

I have a plan for the way that I am raising Ola, and the fancy name for this plan... Go with the flow. I adopted this plan when I was pregnant with her. I had a very specific birth plan for Poppy. I worked on this plan for days, I typed it over and over, trying to make it perfect. I was going to make sure that Poppy and I had the best birthing experience tranquil music and all! (Don' ask me what I was thinking, I was being influenced by a crazy doula!) After my entire birth plan was thrown out the window the second I BEGGED for pain medicine, I decided that I wouldn't make one for Ola. We were just going to go with the flow. Good thing.... it didn't happen the way I had planned either!

I am making sure Ola is doing what is right for her, and you know what? My plan is working out beautifully. She is gaining strength and hitting milestones at warp speed. She had a visit from our IDP consultant today and she cannot believe how great she is doing. Especially the chatting. I should make a video of that :)

This whole going with the flow thing has helped me loosen up a bit too. I would hate to admit that I was a bit of a schedule maker control freak type, but having Ola has taught me to loosen up, to slow down and to take a few deep breaths and know that it my world won't come crashing down if there are toys all over the floor for a day.

What we won't talk about is how I was up at 7am this morning scrubbing my floors on my knees because her IDP consultant was coming.

Ds Awareness day #6

2010-10-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

Did you know?

That a large number of children with Ds have hearing problems?

This was another thing I didn't know about Ds. Babies in BC are given a hearing test when they are first born, Ola passed this so there hasn't been a need for us to get another one done yet. I have been reading lot in the last couple of months and I plan on talking to her pediatrician at her next visit which is in a couple of weeks. In one of the books that I read it stated that if your doctor can see the eardrum with their scope there is a good chance that they have large eustachian tubes and shouldn't require tubes in their ears. From what I know kids with Ds have smaller "pipes" I don't know all the technical terms so that is what I use. Smaller "pipes" in their ears, nose, nasal cavities ect. I know little miss Ola gets stuffed up quite easily and I have become a master blaster with the children's saline nasal spray. We go through periods where it is in our daily routine, and at other times like right now for example her nose is runny and snotty enough with her first cold that she sneezes it all out on her own.

Ola should see a ear, nose throat (ENT) specialist within the nest few months just to make sure that everything in that department is fine. So far, the doc can see the eardrums, and she seems to hear just fine. I watched Mark say "Hi Ola" today and she turned right around and looked right at him :)

Out with the new... boo hoo

2010-10-05T19:26:00.000-07:00

You may remember earlier in the summer I decided to get a Mirena IUD put in.

Well... It's out. I went and got the $350 little piece of hormone infused plastic taken out.

I originally thought that the Mirena was a good idea for me. Less hormones overall than the pill, one less pill that I would have to take every day, and more cost effective, because lets face it money's tight right now and I calculated that it would be way cheaper in the long run especially if we decided not to have any more kids and keep it in for the full 5 years.

Flash forward 2 weeks after insertion. The first headache, and another, and another.... all bleeping summer. Everyday, as soon as I opened my eyes. Couple that with feeling that I was having the worst PMS I have ever had for 3 months straight. Super grumpy, super moody, super sleepy. All. The. Time. oh yeah and 12 extra pounds ( i don't eat that much ice cream!)

I had mentioned this to the OB about 3 weeks after she put it in. She figured the headache wasn't related to the IUD at all. I then told my GP about the headache about the week after that, and two more times since.

Last Thursday I decided I had a list of things to talk to the GP about and I decided to make an appointment. One of the things still being the headache, and my concern that it was the IUD. He wanted to run some blood and a urine just to "rule out" some other things... turns out I had a really bad bladder infection I didn't even notice, and that nothing... nothing else was abnormal. Good I thought, lets pull that sucker out!

I showed up yesterday (leaving the girls at home) I told the nurse right away that I was getting the IUD out, and didn't even give my GP a chance to try to talk me out of it.

I am really annoyed with myself that I had it put in so quickly after Ola was born. I am annoyed that I didn't even let my poor body... poor uterus recover from childbirth before having the IUD put in. Having it in made me feel really disconnected from my body, I didn't know what was going on, my body was rebelling from me, and I didn't even know what the exact cause was. Was it me? the hormones? my hormones? the IUD itself... who the hell knows. My GP doesn't even know.

I am giving my body a chance to regulate, no more pills (birth control or other) until my body resets. I need to know what is happening. I am missing the regularity of things. I don't even know if I can remember what not having a headache feels like.

Oh yeah and I have to go lose 12 pounds!

Ds Awareness day #5

2010-10-05T07:52:00.000-07:00

Ola practicing her tummy time, she loves this clock!

Ds Awareness day #4

2010-10-04T07:20:00.000-07:00

Did you know?

"Children with Down syndrome have some physical, intellectual and emotional developmental delays."

Now of all the things about Down syndrome I am thinking that this is the one people most think of when you say Ds. I know that when Ola was born and I was totally oblivious to all the aspects of Ds I thought right away about her having intellectual disability.

This whole subject can take so many turns so I will attempt to keep it on the road I am intending. The one thing that I have learned so far about Ds is that every single one of our children is different. All of them.... the "typical" the "not so typical" and believe me I use the term "typical" loosely, however "typical" is better than "normal" because what is normal anyways?

Even though our children have Ds, it means something different for each of them. What one can do by age one, another might not be able to do by age two. One may hear, the other may be deaf. One may have 20/20 vision the other may need glasses.... and so on.

For the most part children with Ds have low muscle tone and this contributes to the slower physical development. I know when Ola was first born, she was "floppy." She was a "loosey goosey", she seemed really slippery to me and I had a hard time hanging on to her :) Darn muscle tone anyways. Ola is 22 weeks now and can hold her head up and sit well on my lap with a little bit of help. She struggled with tummy time, but improves day by day. She sits in her bumbo and bounces in her jolly jumper like a champ. She is trying to stand when you hold her up (I am thanking the jolly jumper for this.)

As for the intellectual part, "children with Ds most often score in the mild to moderate range of mental handicap. These tests do not measure many important areas of intelligence and one will often be surprised by the memory, insight, creativity, and cleverness of a child with Ds." I think that this sums it up pretty well.

As for the emotional part, I am not sure about this yet. I will have to do some more reading and some more learning on the subject before I pretend to know what I am talking about. All I know about Ola's emotions so far is that she is a happy kid, she doesn't care who you are, you are getting a big ol smile!

Information from LMDSS

Ds awareness day #3

2010-10-03T08:42:00.000-07:00

Did you know?

Down syndrome is a chromosomal anomaly, or mix up in the genetic blue-print that occurs at conception. (taken from LMDSS)

I honestly wasn't sure. When I first was told that Ola most likely had DS a hour after she was born the first thing that came to mind was "OMG I knew it was a bad idea to get the H1N1 shot!" oh how naive I was.

The morning after Ola was born our super, wonderful, awesome, great (insert any other complimentary term here) pediatrician came to introduce himself and talk to us about Ola and Ds. He held her, talked to her gently and answered our questions and concerns in the most peaceful calm voice I had heard in days. One of the first things that I blurted out was "I had the H1N1 shot, that did this didn't it!" He looked at me, gave me a reassuring smile and calmly told me that I had done nothing that caused this. It wasn't the shot, it wasn't something I ate, I wasn't something that I didn't eat :) The way he described it to us was that all of my chromosomes and genetic material had been decided generations ago. All of my eggs had their destiny mapped out before my mother was even a glimmer in my grandmothers mind, and so on. The egg that was fertilized that night had an extra chromosome on the 21st one.

Had we not had sex that night and waited for another period, we might not have Ola. Simple as that. (Although there is a small chance that it could also be Marks sperm that contributed the Ds, it is more likely that it was my egg.)

So there you go... It wasn't something I ate :)

Ds awareness day #2

2010-10-02T07:11:00.000-07:00

Did you know?

The occurrence of Down syndrome is universal across racial and gender lines, and it is present in about 1 in 800 births in Canada.

That's probably a little bit more common than you thought huh? Definitely more common than I ever thought.

When I found out that Ola had Ds, I was very concerned as to why the testing that I had done didn't show that she would have it. I had the triple screening done and it didn't give a statistical number that would alert my OB. I came to find out weeks after Ola was born that for my age (31) my chances of having a child born with Ds would be about 1 in 815. The numbers that came back to my OB were 1 in 800. There was no reason to look into it because I was at the right number for my age. My OB doesn't get concerned with the number unless it comes back as a 250 or less.

Really I think what this boils down to is that the triple screen test is just that...a screen. It doesn't give you a definitive answer it just gives you an "idea." From what I understand there are a lot of false positives with the triple screen. I know a woman that was given a 1 in 4 chance that her child would have Ds and he didn't. Ola was the first false negative that my OB has ever dealt with. Poor woman, we must have really surprised her!

The other thing that I didn't know was that a woman of any age can give birth to a child with Ds. I always thought that it was "older" ladies that did. Now I do not classify myself with the "older" ladies so it must be true ;) Every age has a statistic, and every woman's eggs are different.

So what this all boils down to is that I really should have gotten Mark to pick up a lottery ticket on the morning that I was induced. We won the Ds lottery and I only had a 1 in 800 chance! I wonder what the odds were for the million that day :)

Information was taken from the Canadian Down syndrome society's website. As with anything, please visit reputable sites for accurate information.

October is Down syndrome awareness month!

2010-10-02T07:08:00.000-07:00

This post was meant to go out yesterday morning, not sure what happened there, but lets just fix it now!

October is Ds awareness month so everyday for the next month I plan on either sharing something that I have learned about Ds, something that maybe you might not have known, or just a little something about little miss Ola that might make you smile :)

Let's kick this off with a little photo!

thinking about it

2010-09-29T15:53:00.000-07:00

Poppy modelling my vintage cateye frames, love these, will have to wait to get lenses put in though.

This blog takes up a lot of space in my cluttered head. I find myself thinking of things I can write about but also about the readers. I know I only have 18 "followers" but I assume that more people read this blog but just don't officially "follow" like my Mom for instance (Hi Mom!)

I read a lot of blogs myself and I often think about their stories. Most of the blogs I follow are other Moms, some of them have children with DS and some do not. I follow some crafty ladies, some quilt y ladies, some photography loving ladies. And there are a couple of Dad's thrown in there too.

I always find these blogs so fascinating, sometimes wishing that my life were a bit more glamourous so you all would have something fab to read about other than Ds, sick kids, dolls. Wishing that I was a better photographer, heck wishing I could remember my camera so i could take more fabulous photos of my daily jaunts. but then....

I started thinking that maybe someone out in blogland thinks that I am pretty special, maybe I am one of the blogs that they love to read, maybe they think I am kinda cool, that my kids are super cute, that raising chickens is kinda fun, that I am a strong super mom.

but then again, maybe not...

but that's ok, cause I think I am pretty cool, that my kids are super cute, that my chickens are awesome and that I am a super Mom and I know the last one is true cause Poppy told me so! :)

who knew?

2010-09-28T13:18:00.000-07:00

I posted a couple of weeks ago that Poppy was starting pre-school. This was start of week 3 and she is at home sick, not really acting sick at all, but she is and so is her sister.

But that is not what this post is about.

Last week we got a letter sent home with the kids asking that we pack a set of emergency clothes (specifically earthquake) a cuddle toy, a family picture and a letter. I thought ok... I can do that.

Wait did that say a letter?

"please send a comfort letter in case your child can not be with you in time of an emergency."

What the what? It had honestly never crossed my mind that she might not be with us if god forbid something ever happened here.

I waited a couple of days and them decided that I should pack this ziplock bag. I grabbed an outfit that she has never worn, specifically one that I am not at all attached to, a new pair of back to school socks, underpants... I didn't know what to pack as a cuddle toy, Poppy has never been attached to any specific toy for more than a day, and it had to be small. I grabbed a little chicken stuffy and plopped it in. Then the letter.....

What do you say to your child in a hypothetical emergency situation, a situation where you can not be there to comfort them. A situation where your child's teacher needs to be a stand in parent.

I told her that we love her, that we will be there soon, that she needs to listen to her teachers because they are just trying to keep her safe, and that we will be there to get her soon.

Writing that little letter was really hard. I didn't know what to say without saying the obvious, and I hope that what I said is enough. I hope that while an emergency is actually taking place the teachers actually have time and wits about them to read them to our children. That and that if there is an emergency it happens in the spring because otherwise she is gonna freeze.

Ready to GO!!!!

2010-09-26T22:16:00.001-07:00

I have just finished a large upload to the shop, check them out.... if you want to :)

Walking with our buddies

2010-09-25T16:16:00.000-07:00

Today we participated in our first ever Buddy Walk for DS. The weather was so nice, and we had a really good time. Instead of getting everyone to wear a certain color I decided to pick us up all silly masks! Everyone wore one but one :( boo! We only kept them on for the big picture, it was way too hot!

It was really nice to have so many friends and family come out and support us. We had a total of 26 walkers (we didn't win for most buddies) and we raised around $1800 bucks. I didn't keep close enough tabs to tell you an exact amount but it was right up there! I am so Thankful for those that gave to us, and for those that came out to walk. I am so glad that we have some many people that care about Ola and that some many of you would take to time to come out! Thanks!

I was thinking today after we got home that today was the first time I have been around other babies and I didn't try to compare Ola to them. I didn't make mental notes of what they could do vs. what Ola can't do. I just let it be. I just let Ola be. That's Awesome! :)

This is the DS doll that I made for a draw. I plan on making more of these dolls for kids with DS, every little girl needs a doll, and why can't she have one that looks like her too? just sayin..